any mom will tell you how precious, beautiful, innocent and perfect the baby looks when they're sleeping. and even though Sam is 3 1/2 years old, it brings me right back to when he was days old, just beautiful.
I've been trying to wake him up now for about 1/2 hour - it's cloudy and rainy here, and on days like today he wants to sleep forever. anyway ...
what hit me was that I love that kid like nothing else in this world. you think of how irate mama bears are with their cubs, and if need be that's what I'd do too ... I'd tear you to pieces if I had to; anything to keep him safe. I broke down in tears at the thought of him thinking I would feel any different ... as if a new baby brother would steal some of it away. but that could NEVER happen.
Sam has changed my life; so much more than just becoming a mommy. God has been using him from conception - he brought a burden into our already troubled house (harsh but true), something that needed to be totally uprooted. hubby and I split up, about to be divorced, but all that held us together at the time was Sam. without him, our healed marriage would not have happened. without him, things would be VERY different. one day God gave me scripture on Sam - Hebrews 1:14 - Are not all angels ministering spirits sent to serve those who will inherit salvation?
the way I see it, Sam saved my life. he was that angel that came to save my life. and now that I've been healed on many levels just by his existence, I can be the best mommy I can be and raise him to know how awesome God is, so he too can inherit salvation. isn't God amazing?!
ok, so now I'm crying ...
... so I'm a bit emotional ...
... I am about to bring another life into this world ...
which by the way is only 6 days away now. yes, I'm a bit freaked ...
but isn't God amazing?!
No comments:
Post a Comment