its been too long ...

... since all 4 of us were healthy.


Sam got it first.  more than a minor cold, but not the flu.  put him out (aka. he sat in front of the tv) for 4 days.  that means napping on and off all day, movies, and video games.


hubs got it next.  his turned into a major sinus infection that kept him in bed for 4 days straight.


Eli got it next.  he got a fever and a lingering cough.  sleeping at night was rough since his coughing would wake him up, despite the meds we gave him.  which left me a bit sleep-deprived - flashbacks of those newborn days.  Eli has been sick for a week, with that lingering cough.


I really really really thought I was going to get skipped on this one.  I was feeling invincible for these last 2 weeks.  however, it is impossible for me to not love on my kids when they're sick.  that whole nurturing thing takes over like nothing else; it helps them, but it helps me too.


sore throat hit me for a few days.  then comes the congestion.  don't know about you, but I cannot sleep while breathing through my mouth.  if my nose is not working, I'm up all night.  if I fall asleep, I usually wake up gagging from the desert in my mouth.  its awful.  this has been my last 4 days.
I've been coughing for a couple of days, and now I've lost my voice.  my abs - wherever they are in my belly - are sore from doing so much of it ... but its nice to know I have abs at all I suppose.  
and now its been a week.  ugh.

this is me ... only I pour my own coffee. even when mom is sick, she's still mom.

no executive assistant.  no maid.  no days off.

the tv has been on for the majority of our days lately because of all this sickness.  no one has the energy, patience, or even a desire to do anything else.  and now, even though the kids are well, I am not ... and so the tv marathon is not quite over.  what do you do when everyone is sick?  or when mama is sick?

we're watching -

kid movies - our favorites are Finding Nemo and Kung Fu Panda

reality tv - we all love Dirty Jobs, Mythbusters, and Bizzare Foods ... courtesy of Netflix

documentaries - any and all the nature documentaries ... we use our instant streaming Netflix A LOT!

and just to add ... it always amazes me how much snot the human body makes.  not just how much it makes, but how much comes out of you.  right now, I can't seem to have enough kleenex.


and with that lovely thought ... happy tuesday!

what's your parenting style?

I found this questionnaire in *gasp* Parenting magazine ... I am, for the record, not a big fan of this magazine.  to me its filled with lots paranoia and fear ... wait ... how'd did it even find a home in my mailbox???


anyway -
I found this questionnaire and wanted to share & invite any/all mommies reading to participate.  just because.

1. describe your parenting style - I tend to be strict about certain things, like responsibility & manners, but for everything else, I do my best to be as flexible as possible.  
2. last meal you cooked - spaghetti & meatballs
3. weirdest thing in you purse - 3 hotwheels ... is that weird?
4. craziest thing you've done while sleep-deprived - I am thankful to be out of that stage. that said, I don't remember!
5. behavior you hope your kids don't inherit from you - I'm not much of a reader, but I would love for them to discover how great that can be.  does this mean I ought to start reading for myself?
6. last thing your child did that made you laugh - my boys are funny all the time!  Elliott is especially funny lately since he is learning to talk and getting very expressive.
7. your favorite baby gear - when they were baby-babies, I was always so thankful for my boppy.  I was so thankful to be able to nurse them both, and that boppy saved my arms!  today my favorite thing is my Bob stroller.
8. lost object you recently helped your child find - Sam can't seem to keep his shoes together.  how does one shoe always end up on the opposite side of the house?  or often, we find 1 in the house and 1 in the car ....?!&$#@!
9. the song that best describes your parenting experiences - I do my best to cherish, the good and the bad days alike.  the bond a mother has with her children is close to indescribable.  its like no other.  I LOVE this song; Sade is one of my favorite musical artists ... go listen, The Sweetest Gift, by Sade
10. kids' tv show you can't stand - Spongebob is way too annoying for me.  Barney is actually ok, its the child actors that ruin the show, so much so, I just can't get over it.  and Cailou is a big whiner ... and why doesn't he have hair?  ever?
11. first word that pops into your head when I say "mom" - love

leave me a link to your answers in the comments.  remember, there are no wrong answers!


ps. what do you think of Parenting magazine?

he's really part fish

moving to Hawaii, swimming has taken on a whole new meaning us. if you live on an island and don't know how to swim, I would think you had better learn!!

when we first got here, Samuel was very timid. he'd go in but never past where he can't touch, unless his arms were wrapped around your neck. he wouldn't put his head underwater. he was fearful of the waves crashing, and wouldn't go past them. he has been exposed to water every summer of his life; I even took him for "swimming lessons" at 6mos to get him comfortable, but he still needed more time.

he did get some courage when he wore his life jacket. he liked that he could go to the deep end just float, in the pool and in the ocean. not being so worried about sinking, he did figure out that using his arms and legs helped him move around. with that, he gained even more courage.

then one day, we said no more life jacket. yes the waves will knock you down. yes you will go under.

we are firm believers in learning things "the hard way," or in my opinion, the most real-life way. and can I add, I very much dislike parents that soften every single obstacle for their child(ren). I understand wanting your child to stay inside a bubble so they won't get hurt ... but that's not life. their bubble will burst at some point. I think its much more valuable to teach them how to get up after they fall, not just keep them from falling. but I digress ...

when the life jacket left, we added a mask. at first he'd just put his face in the water so he could see, but then practically overnight, it was his whole head, then his whole body. he was diving to the bottom in no time. gaining vision gave him all the confidence in the world, however, not having that life jacket anymore also gave him a healthy dose of fear of what water can do.

now at the pool, he's doing cannonballs at the deep end. at the ocean, he's learned the pattern of the waves and goes in with perfect timing ... or if he's too excited, he'll jump right into the wave. its so awesome to watch him!

but just when I thought all I had to worry about is drowning, I now also have to worry about him drinking the water.
2 weeks ago (a day before his birthday) Sam was throwing up every 1/2 hr or so. couldn't keep anything down. Eli had it too a few days earlier, then I got it a few days later, so we all assumed it was the flu. but yesterday was another pukey day for Sam; fever, no appetite and throwing up anyway, long naps, chills, sweats ... not fun for anyone. so far, the rest of us are ok.
the only thing we can think of that links all this puking together is swimming at the pool. I've been doing some research and found multiple sites with this same information. something to note: chlorine doesn't kill everything!

just the thought of ingesting someone else's poop is enough to make me not want to ever go back to a swimming pool ... guess its a good thing we're in Hawaii and have plenty of beaches to choose from.

if you have any other ideas, let me know.

ps. Morgan, is this what makes a saltwater pool better?

attached at the hip

literally overnight, Elliott has gotten major separation anxiety. major.

I can't leave him in the cart at Costco during the checkout process anymore. I'm what, 3 feet away?! he used to LOVE talking with whoever was there loading the cart. he's not shy, but for whatever reason, he's not having it anymore.

today we went to the beach; it was the perfect morning for snorkeling. hubby and I have to take turns because Elliott isn't swimming yet, so my turn comes and he flips out as I go into the water. when you snorkel, you're floating on top [mostly] and so your ears go in and out of the water. I heard that boy crying and screaming the entire time I was out. apparently daddy does not suffice.

those are just the latest examples.

I was beginning to think Elliott was going to skip this stage altogether. I only vaguely remember Sam having this "issue," but it must not of been that bad if I don't really remember, right?

this too shall pass. sigh.

like I said, he's not a shy boy. Samuel and Elliott both have gotten my husband's gifting of loving people. they can easily talk with others ... which this mom is slightly paranoid about, but ultimately, I know it's God's gifting for them.

and I have to say, for Elliott especially, he can make people smile that you would NEVER expect to see smile. you know those people? angry, old people, or anyone who obviously is having a bad day; when they get a look at Elliott's face, they crack ... and I really love to witness those moments.

"Parenting"

I was reading Parenting magazine today and realized, I no longer like to read it.

But what I noticed is that the whole magazine is geared towards mommies with babies, obviously, but the majority of what I read was fear based. It seems to target first time mommies who are paranoid about everything. In my opinion, it would make it worse than relieve worry. Yes it answers questions, but only after bringing up every what-if scenario, every possible diagnosis, along on how to buy super trendy & totally not needed baby items.

Here's one example for you -

a cardboard box selling for $50. check it out here. it is cute and I see where they're going with it, but really, it's a box. you can get a box anywhere. in fact here's a tip, go to your local appliance store and ask for a box. those boxes are huge! make your own.

a couple good things though ... if you shop these stores.

The Children's Place, 15% off, online code: PARENTINGA9

Gymboree, 20% off, online code: 1101TTKNBV82491

Diapers.com, $10 off, online code: PTGMAR2010

also, it was good to see an Avon fragrance featured as a new smell for mommy. They featured Ungaro Fever, check it out here. and I have to mention, a portion of any order from my online store will be donated to Avon's Walk for Breast Cancer. or if you'd like to donate directly, do so here.

where do you get your parenting advice?

right to write?

it's amazing how genetics work.

do you know not everyone can curl their tongue? Sam and I can do it, hubby can't. we think it's hilarious, because Papa can usually do anything we can do, only better. this is the one thing Sam and I both have on him that he can't get. haha!

Matt and I are both righty's. Sam, however, is a lefty. I have 2 aunts that are lefty's, but I think Matt's mom was a lefty. Sam seems very proud to be a little different. he introduces himself to people we meet like this: "Hi. I'm Sam. This is Elliott. I just turned 5 and he just turned 1. and guess what? I'm a lefty." and people always say "oooooh & aaaaah." it's always funny. I had to repeat that to him a lot this last spring so he could remind his t-ball coach which way he had to bat. so ever since then.

I'm starting to think Elliott will be a lefty too. this morning at breakfast, he was holding his spoon in his right hand, but grabbing food, eating it with his left. I know it's still too early to know for sure. I'm sort of secretly hoping he is a lefty. that way, with all the speicalty lefty stuff we'll have to buy for Sam, we can pass them on to Elliott. like sporting equipment, mostly. mmmm, what else do lefty's need?

did you see that Simpson's episode where Ned Flanders opens a lefty store? the Leftorium. that's what we'll need. :)

is your child a lefty? what are your challenges? not that it's a disability, but you know what I mean.

trust fall

did you have to do trust falls in gym class? I remember doing them. I also remember being so nervous about them, not fully trusting who was going to catch me.

Sam and I were waiting for Papa to do something, and I suddenly thought to show this to Sam. he didn't get it.

so Papa comes out and suggests we show him. for some reason, I didn't think I had to endure that nervousness and anxiety that I did in junior high. I obviously can't catch him (he's 300 lbs), so I guess it was up to me to show Sam how it's done.

it's one thing to eat the vegetables you don't like in front of your kids to show them - yes, it can be done. this trust fall is another thing.

so arms out, turn and check he's there and ready to catch me. yep, he's there. I'm ready, no, wait, check again. I'm ready, no, wait, will Elliott get in the way? no, he's safe and watching too. I'm ready, no wait, check again. finally, just do it already!

he did catch me, but I admit, I did take a small step back in that last mili-second. so I went through the process again. glad to say I wasn't so chicken the second time around.

realizing there is fear in me, bringing it out in the open, and just going through that process takes effort. as much as I didn't want to confront it, I also knew I had to. especially because Sam was there and watching. not just watching, but watching to see how it's done so he can have a turn.

in the end, Sam got to see and was able to do it too. he went through his own process, but it was much shorter than mine ... and too, he doesn't care if his brother gets in the way. sometimes that no fear thing kids have seems so wrong, but actually, that's the way God wants us to be all the time.

what's the worst that can happen? I will fall on the floor. I will be sore, but I will live.

another situation - flying in a plane, what's the worst that can happen? we will crash and die. I'm headed to heaven to see my Creator, so is that really so bad? nope, it shouldn't be.

find someone to do a trust fall with. see if you can do it too. you will. :)

boundaries

as much as I dislike CA, here is something else I've learned from my trip.

one day I took the boys to the lake. going to the ocean is a lot of work! plus it's huge with tons of people ... I require 2 adults for that one, but the lake is doable so we spent many days there.

at most beaches you will see the "swim area" roped off, which is the area that the lifeguard watches. moms with kids, especially multiple kids, feel better having another set of eyeballs on their kids, making sure no one is drowning. cheers to lifeguards!

one day we went, we were early and could choose any spot on the beach. but since I'm the one who ends up carrying everything, I choose the first empty spot I see, which is on the edge of the roped off area.

so we're hanging out, swimming, playing in the sand, having our picnic, it was a great day. Sam was walking around and found a small school of fish. he was so excited! his excitement took him wherever the fish went ... da da dum ... outside of the roped off area. of course the lifeguard blew his whistle and told Sam he couldn't play over there.

on the one hand, I also was dealing with Elliott and was happy to have a "babysitter" with me in case Sam was in trouble. but on the other hand it really bothered me that those rules are so strict. he was in the water to his ankles, and really, is it so dangerous on that side of the rope and not the other? in my opinion, no it's not.

it's got me thinking ...

as parents, we are choosing to raising our boys with a kingdom perspective. yes the details of life are important, but in a kingdom perspective the big picture is vital. the big picture in our house is God's plan, the kingdom being the whole world, or having the potential to be.

in the scope of things, being outside the rope is so trivial. however when dealing with kids, you begin teaching the basics ... like following the rules and stay inside the rope.

I don't ever want to be hypocritical, I think that's why this is bugging me. I feel like I have to teach Sam the world's "right way" and then when he gets that, I can teach him God's right way. I know that's wrong ... typing that even feels wrong! it seems one needs to know the rules backwards and forwards, and only then are you allowed to bend them ... like knowing outside the rope is just as safe/dangerous as being on the inside.

in school he's learning about God, His rules, and how to pray. is he really spiritual yet? with all the rebellion, I'd have to say no way ... haha, of course all that is between him and God. but he's learning it in his head before learning it and living it with his heart.

I think the social norms the world has created and emphasized are starting to stand out to me. know what I'm talking about? please leave me a comment with your thoughts.

the time is now

today Elliott is done nursing, well he didn't have a choice, today I am done nursing.  another bittersweet day for me.

on the one hand, I'm very happy to have my body be my own again.  no more nursing bras, nursing pads, soreness, or bite marks.  no more awkwardness feeding in public or taking time out of any social get-togethers to deal with it, no more interruptions.

the other day I made 2 pb&j sandwiches, one for Sam, one for Elliott.  I thought that was awesome!

the other hand of course, it leaves me a little sad.  Elliott is my last baby (out of my body anyway!) so my nursing days are officially over.  yes I know there are other ways of bonding with your kids, but breastfeeding is as close as you can get with your baby. there is a level of intimacy, and vulnerability on both sides, and when you do anything that makes you feel that way with someone else, it strengthens that relationship so much.

it feels good to have used my breasts for what God intended.  that may sound silly, but I'm serious.  the world portrays breasts only in sexual ways; no, breasts have an actual purpose!  it sort of feels like I've completed a mission God wants all mothers to accomplish ... if that makes any sense. 

I had him stay up a bit later than usual. normally he's eating and in his crib by 830-845, but tonight I waited until then to feed him that "2nd dinner."  I don't remember how or what I did for Sam, so I was guessing on what to do.

I made him some rice cereal with whole milk and bananas.  we finished around 9 and I tried to hold him a bit but he wouldn't have it, so in his crib he went.  he started crying, but it lasted less than 1/2 hour which totally surprised me.  I was expecting something similar to the night when we "taught him" to sleep through the night; he fought it for at least 1 hour, screaming.  I think it helped that we started later, so he was already tired.  bedtimes we can fix much easier than bedtime nursing, so I'm not too worried about what time he goes to bed.

if anything, I'll get to sleep in a bit tomorrow!

baby E

oh my sweet Elliott. I started weaning him a couple of weeks ago, and finally, today he went down for his morning nap without crying at all.
since birth he eats then sleeps; it's magic milk! but for these last couple weeks, he's gone to bed awake with a not-as-full belly. he would fight it, and cry, and scream. I normally go in 2-3 times to hold him and calm him down, probably every 10-15 minutes, but after 3 times it's time to cry it out! I'm convinced, there is no other method. you can't let them have ALL the control. I know many would disagree with me, but I seriously think you're asking for problems going into toddler years and beyond. you'll see. :)
so no crying today means he gets it. definitely a milestone.

and since I'm not nursing so much, he's starting to eat what we eat. he eats a lot, sometimes as much as his big brother! he hasn't had most dairy yet; he's tried eggs and a bit of my cottage cheese. he's now like a puppy begging for food whenever it's out. cute ... for now. :)

my baby will be 1 year old in a couple of weeks. wow! seriously, where did the time go?! it's bittersweet.
uh oh, I just thought of something ... are 1 year olds toddlers?

I'm very happy with my boys right now. with Elliott walking, Sam is able to play with him. it's so great to hear giggling in the other room, knowing their relationship is building upon this. they play hide and seek a lot (of course Sam is the one always hiding) and they like to play on the keyboard together and dance. seriously, Elliott dances ... ok he sways. he sways to everything, it's very cute and fun to watch.

pictures to come from his birthday, stay tuned.

naked

I'm surrounded by boys.

I've always been fairly "open" with Sam; changing my clothes, going potty, taking showers, and whatever else I used to do privately.  when he was younger, he would just barge in like he owns the place.  now he just comes in because it's become the norm.  whatever.

in my mind, it's a form of bonding.  we do "private" things together, creating a level of intimacy.  nothing sexual of course, but a level of comfort.  does that make sense?  hopefully it does without me sounding ... gross.

so Sam is now 4 1/2 years old.  whenever I'm in the shower, and he feels like taking a shower, he'll just come in and join me.  

the other day, he was staring.  I sort of called him on it, he stopped, but then did it again.  it kinda weirded me out, so I ended my shower early.

when he was younger, he's done all the poking, squeezing, giggling about body parts ... on me, on Papa, on himself ... actually he still giggles about himself sometimes.  now that's he's older, we've taught him that it's not appropriate to touch anyone else ... or for anyone to touch him like that.  luckily he "gets it" and it's not a battle we have to fight with him at every shower.

I suppose at this age comes new levels of curiosity.  isn't 5 too early to be staring?  

it's not all the time, but now I'm looking for it.  actually, I've arranged it so he showers more with papa and takes bathes with little brother.  he's always been a water-baby, so whenever water gets turned on, he's there regardless of who else is in there.

I'm posting this to get advice, if you have any.  I'm I paranoid?  if you have boys, where do you draw the line?  or if you have girls, when do they stop bathing with daddy?

with this kind of stuff, I don't like to get doctor's advice.  to me, there are certain things that should be by-the-book.  to me, these kinds of cultural/social things shouldn't be measured by-the-book.  advice from another mother who has been there is usually much better!

practice homeschool

since Sam won't be attending until fall, I've decided to wing it and [try to] do some schooling at home. it's not too structured and I don't really have a plan worked out for the week. I just try to get online, check a few websites, and have it ready for the next day.

my goal is to have 3 days a week dedicated to school work. not all day of course, but my guess is about 4 hours/day. of course I have to figure out how to deal with Elliott while this is going on, fit in time to make and eat lunch, and whatever else that's going on. any supermoms out there that can give me advice?

we had a letter A day! one easy project I made up (but I'm sure it's been done before somewhere) is to cut out a big letter A from construction paper, then take old magazines and find any/all pictures that begin with the letter A, cut them out and glue them on. we learn what A sounds like, we get practice using scissors and pay attention to the details - like don't cut the head off of the animal you're cutting out - and it's something mellow we can sit, talk, and do together. fun and easy.
eventually I'd like to hang his alphabet around the "classroom" here at home. I read somewhere that's it important to display your child's art at home in a place that he can see it, knowing that he did something original and creative; something he can be proud of ... and show off to everyone that comes over!

Sam also practiced writing his A's, big and small. I got these practice sheets from a book in the $1 bins at Target. (again, yay Target!)

we're also working on a book; All About Me. page 1 is a self portrait. so I got out a mirror and we analyzed all his facial features. we talked about shapes, big and small, colors, etc. Sam did this picture totally on his own. looks like him, right?! here is the link to check it out for yourself.

it amazes me how often this kid blows my mind. he catches on fast. he's only 4!

hubby and I often wonder when his first memory will be. most adults don't/can't seem to remember anything before 3 or 4 years old. will he remember his first big boy bike he got for his 4th birthday? will he remember all these crafts with mama? will he remember when Elliott came home? will remember the stitches he got? eventually he'll remember just about everything, but I wonder what that first memory will be. I pray it's a happy one!

goo-goo ga-ga

I don't claim to be an expert at anything. but as I am going through the experience of babyhood the second time around, I've allowed the truth to really set in about a few things. here are some of my latest revelations and so, some mommy advice from me to you.

*if your baby doesn't want a binky, don't force it. if you're on your first baby, you can't imagine what the fight will be like when he/she is 3 and still won't want to give it up. yes, they may be loud now, but better now than later. much better. toddlers have bigger lungs along with a vocabulary to whine and cry about it, a lot longer than any baby would.

*as soon as your baby begins eating solids, don't buy the cheap diapers anymore! I thought I made this great discovery buying Target brand diapers; they're literally 1/2 the price. as soon as Elliott starting eating real food, poop took on a whole new ... everything! it was coming out of ALL sides, which means using more wipes and doing more laundry. it's worth the price, just buy Huggies!

*swaddle your baby as long as possible. Elliott was a summer baby, so I got muslin swaddling blankets, actually my hubby surprised me with them one day. of course he had the best of intentions, but he got this ridiculously humongous size. when Elliott was born, I had to fold them in a strange way to make it work the right way. but since babies grow so fast, that strange folding didn't last very long. now that he's 6 months old, and I have these huge blankets, I can still swaddle him. he calms down instantly when I wrap him. "they say" you ought to train your baby to not be swaddled anymore. personally I don't see the big deal, my baby loves it.

*for whatever reason, I was able to see myself third person the other day. and I now know that I am one of those moms that uses the "airplane" at feeding time, with sound effects and everything. I speak in baby-talk regularly, and I practically scream YAY! when he eats a big bite. today after each bite he lifted up his arms with a big smile, so I of course joined him. that might be our new thing. now that I'm thinking about it, that might get old, raising my arms up and down after EVERY bite. anyway, my point is have fun no matter what you're doing. no he won't remember the specifics of babyhood, you might though, and it's a happy, positive foundation he can build upon.


alright super-moms, I want your advice too.

all in the family

so I sort of feel like a child again as we are temporarily living at my hubby's parents house.  even though I have my own children with me here, I still ask for permission about things.  funny and strange.

along with us (4 adults) are 5 children, and their ages are 9, 6, 4, 3, 5 mos.  someone always needs something, often one of them is crying, and if one has something, the rest must have it too.  it's a madhouse at times.

Elliott is too young to have a clue, but Sam has been surrounded by 3 girls and I'm beginning to see the effects of this.  now I don't know if it's these girls specifically, or if it's girls in general, but they whine constantly.  they seemed to have learned whining gets them what they want ... sugar and spice my ass!  Sam has picked up on that and if it's one thing I can't stand, it's whining!  so now, the girls whine and get what they want, Sam whines and he [eventually] gets in trouble.

of course he doesn't get it, even if you try to explain it to him ... which is another thing; with girls you can talk it out.  boys don't respond too well to that, unless is short, sweet, and to the point.  I'm always trying to think of good one or two liners for Sam to understand.  it's much harder than it sounds.

it's strange for me that my in-laws have 3 little girls; my hubby's sisters (1/2 sisters if you're wondering how it happened that way).  the Grimm's are definitely not your standard or normal family tree.  

so do I treat my in-laws more like peers - as in we're both parenting little children - or do I treat them as my parents - as in honor your mother and father (treat your in-laws as your own)?  I guess I'm having a hard time doing both.  even if they were my peers, I wouldn't know how to start that conversation - I don't agree with how your handle your kids.  to me, it seems the same as punishing other people's kids; it's just not allowed.

of course I love these girls.  Sam has a great time with them and of course they LOVE  the baby.  it'll be good for my boys to have these girls around.  they will be good friends, or rather, more like siblings than aunties.  it will be great that they get to grow up together.  one big happy family!

a growing nose

yesterday was like any other.  Sam wants to play, eat, watch videos, do a craft, just have fun.  we do this everyday, and it IS fun.  sometimes he gets a bit obsessed with his videos, he just wants to be a couch potato sometimes, and honestly, sometimes I let him.  yesterday he kept asking and asking and asking to watch a second one... of course when that happens the answer is always no, he doesn't seem to understand that his nagging is not the way to get what he wants.

also Sam is starting to lie to me ....ME!  it's usually when he goes potty, because now he can go totally by himself.  I let him do his thing and he comes out to tell me about it.  but I always catch him - did you wipe?  did you flush?  did you wash your hands?  he always says yes, like a good boy,  but I'm skeptical about the wipe, I didn't hear a flush or the sink turn on for washing hands.  the boy is fibbing!

so I talk to him about it and try to reinforce in his brain how God commands us not to lie no matter what.   I tell him "God doesn't like liars, God says to always tell the truth" and his response was "ok mom.  God also says that I should watch a video today"

nice try kid!

home-schooling

so I've finally decided to home-school Sam.  I don't want to put him in school somewhere just to pull him out, again and again.  only God knows when and where we'll settle down for good ... if ever ... so at least this will be something consistent that Sam can rely on.   plus, this can only bring us closer together as a family, which is of course is something every mother wants.  God may move us wherever, but as long as we know we have each other along the way, than by all means!

I could go on and on about the cons of public school, but I won't.  I found this while researching different curriculums, and I thought it sums it all up perfectly.

Once upon a time, the animals decided they must do something heroic to meet the problems of "A New World".  So they organized a school.

They adopted an activity curriculum consisting of running, climbing, swimming, and flying.  To make it easier to administer the curriculum all the animals took all the subjects.

The duck was excellent in swimming, in fact better than his instructor; but he made only passing grades in flying and was very poor in running.  Sine he was slow in in running, he had to stay after school, and then he had to drop swimming in order to practice running.  This was kept up until his webbed feet were badly worn and he became only average in swimming.  But average was acceptable in school so no one worried except the duck.

The rabbit started at the top of the class in running, but had a nervous breakdown because of so much make-up work in swimming.

The squirrel was excellent in climbing until he developed frustration in the flying class, where his teacher made him start from the ground up instead of from the treetop down.  He also developed a "charley horse" from overexertion and then got a C in climbing and a D in running.

The eagle was a problem child and was disciplined severely.  In the climbing class he beat all the others to the treetop but insisted on using his own way to get there.

At the end of the year, an abnormal, retarded gopher that could swim exceedingly well and also run, climb, and fly a little had the highest average, beat the system, and was valedictorian.

if you are home-schooling your child(ren), what curriculum do you plan on using?  

eeeeewwwww

so much of society uses fear to get to people.  many ways to live "greener" uses fear to get to people, the media uses fear, anybody selling anything uses fear - once you catch on to what is happening, it disgusting.  are we so sheep-like?!

this could be a really long post if I keep

 going on this topic ...

what I wanted to post, I got this from American Baby magazine - the germiest things your kids touch

1. playground equipment: studies show that kids have THE MOST fecal bacteria on their hands after playing at the park; 20% of most playgrounds are contaminated.

2. shopping carts: 70% have fecal bacteria on them

3. high chairs: out of 30 chairs, 17 had e. coli and methicillin-resistant staph

4. restaurant tables:  "cleaning" a table with a sponge, usually makes it worse.  studies of 10 restaurants had 45x more bacteria AFTER they had been wiped down.

5. Elevator buttons: floor 1 is always the dirtiest, everyone has to get out by using it.

6. phones: 80% of homes with sick children were contaminated with the flu virus.

ok, so the germ thing has gotten to me.  yes, I am fearful of germs.  I sort of understand OCD behaviors coming from this idea that GERMS ARE EVERYWHERE!

babies and kids are much more sensitive to picking up germs.  in some ways it's good, they need to build up their immune systems.  but in most ways, it's a bad thing making them sick.  and as all parents know, it's soooo hard to see your little ones sick.

Elliott is starting to chomp on his hands and Sam is a nose picker.  when I see them doing that, I can't help but think of those 6 things and then some.  eeeeeewwwwwww!

don't know what you've got until it's gone

I've lost my wedding ring.  actually it's been gone for over a month.  it was strange not having it at first, then it was a daily reminder of my absent-mindedness, then I was just sad.  my wedding ring really means a lot to me.  it's nothing too extravagant, but I'm big on sentiment.  we've been married 8 years, and when we re-newed our vows last year, my ring means that much more now.  the ring "mark" was just beginning to go away, then out of no where, I found it.  I was moving stuff around in my closet and all of a sudden it was there on the floor.  it definitely wasn't there the whole time, it must've fallen out of somewhere.  who knows.  thank God I found it!!

have you ever lost your ring?  I'm proud to be married.  it's a symbol that I'm taken ... not that I have a line out the door or anything!  but also it's a symbol of our commitment and loyalty to each other, a symbol of our love and family, and it is a product of God's divine plan.  when the ring isn't there, of course I know I'm still married, but seeing it throughout the day makes me think of those things.  it's a reminder of how blessed I am.  amen!

something else I'm losing these days ... my hair!  Elliott is just about 3 months old already, so my body is coming back to normalcy.  it was so nice to keep all my hair while I was pregnant; thick, full, and soft.  now I'm finding hair everywhere - pretty much every room of my house to Elliott's diaper ... which reminds me of a nasty story I read in a parenting magazine.  apparently a hair went unnoticed in her son's diaper.  he was screaming in pain and when she went to investigate, she found a hair wrapped around "his goods" and it was cutting off his circulation.  like when you wrap a rubber band or string around your finger; his poor little pee-pee was purple.  she had to take him to the doctor, I think in the end all was well, but watch out for your hair shedding into your boys' diapers!

be consistent

"Breaking the Good Mom Myth"
chapter 4 is all about the all-protecting and all-caring mothers, those of us that pamper our children so much that is it actually damaging to their development. there is a lot of good stuff in this book; I want to quote all if it to you ... just read it for yourself.

here are a few tips for discipline success:
1. be consistent - you must follow through! not just the first time but EVERY time. consistency is a key to learning.
2. children don't learn from the threat of a consequence, they learn from experiencing it.
3. watch the attitude - if you discipline with any kind of judgment, you won't be affective and you'll just invite a power struggle. you need to be un-interested in the choices your children make for themselves.

it's difficult to watch our kids struggle, even if it's without the tears and frustration. if they're trying to tie a shoe, or learning to use a fork, or getting dressed in the morning - let them struggle, let them make mistakes, this is how they learn!

we need to prep our kids for life. remember these our God's children, and not our property.

mommy dearest

I'm reading a new book -
Breaking the Good Mom Myth: Every modern mom's guide to getting past perfection, regaining sanity, and raising great kids, by Alyson Schafer.

and here's a blurb (ok, it's really a few paragraphs) I'd like to share to get you (and me) thinking ...

"I don't think it helps matters that our generation is coming into motherhood at a time in parenting history when our culture wholeheartedly believes that children are ever-so-fragile and utterly-dependent. we feel that whatever happens to them is on our shoulders, we have taken on the entire responsibility for how our children's lives evolve, and that's a BIG deal! we're near paralyzed by the fear that we simply can't afford to slip up. we're told that what we do as mothers will forever cast their future. how do you like having that responsibility?

so, what do we do? we take on childrearing with the same driven attitude and perfectionism that our achievement-oriented, competitive culture espouses for seemingly every task these days, from education and careers to driving, cooking, and sure, why not go for your black belt in yoga while we're being ludicrous? "competitive peacefulness." wow - this is a sign of how far off the mark we've come!

parenting has become a competitive pursuit, and it's fuelled by a child-focused culture that has our children on a precious pedestal. we've lifted the childrearing to new heights. this is no longer an intuitive job for the masses. no. it apparently requires resources, research, and skills training to "execute." seems we're now in the business of "people-building" and "unlocking potentials," and frankly, it's starting to look a lot more like project management than parenting, without kids become the measure of our mothering success. yech! the trouble is, our own self-worth is so tied to it all that we can't seem to let go of it, even when we know better. let's face it - deep inside we abide by the belief that if we fail motherhood, it will be our ultimate failure and, alternately, if our children "work out," it's our crowning accomplishment. isn't it? are we courageous enough to admit it?"


wow. well, what do you think about that?
to me it sounds a bit extreme, but that is the kind of world we live in now. you have to be the best of the best, at any job or talent, in order to stand out or move ahead. could parenting be included in the competition?

I would have to agree with that last part, I would feel failure if my kids became unsuccessful in some way. whether it was being homeless and jobless, or just unhappy with their life. at the same time, I know their lives are in God's hands, not mine. God has given me these children to mold; in teaching them I teach myself, yet He holds control ... luckily. it could very well be His will that Sam be homeless - God's glory can be revealed in countless ways, and that's the part I need to focus on.

I tend to get jealous rather than competitive. it's not any better; jealousy can still eat away at you and tear down your confidence. I know a constant disappointment in myself, in any area, will find its way onto my kids ... that's how evil spirits work; a deeply rooted issue of ANY kind inevitably gets passed on. so, realizing my weaknesses, I try to change it.

as silly as it sounds, I think part of my new crafting kick with Sam is because I've gotten jealous of other moms. they're able to do it and enjoy it, but mostly because their child(ren) have a creative outlet that I just wasn't providing. instead of sitting there being envious any longer, now I too am providing it.

creativity shapes a child's mind, and I think children should have some options for expressing themselves. I often think about what Sam will be when he grows up, and I believe stuff like this can make a big difference. so maybe when he's angry, he'll make a violent-looking, abstract painting rather than yelling at someone or punching his fist in the wall. does that even make sense? well, in my mind it does. if for nothing else, we're making memories, right?

anyway, back to the book -
I think as I'm reading it, there will be more good stuff to blog about. I'll keep you posted.