catch up blog

so instead of maternity shots, I got more of a family session done.  I haven't seen any of them, except for this one of me and Sam.  I hope they turned out ok.  it felt so funny to pose but not really pose, for the camera.  it wasn't "tilt your head this way and don't move" it was more like "ok, let's have a kiss or do this" but just knowing someone was watching me through the camera made me feel like I was to perform or something.  geez, I would absolutely HATE  to be a celebrity.  she did take some belly shots, not too many though.  I'll post more when I get 'em ... Roya?

I took a breastfeeding class last night at the hospital I will deliver at.  I thought since it's been a few years, that I could use a refresher on the tricks of it all.  I was sort of surprised to learn as much as I did; they are teaching it differently now.  in Reno I was taught to feed every 2-3 hours in the beginning no matter what; I got so mad at the nurses for waking me up in the middle of the night to feed Samuel when we were both sound asleep.  here they "require" the 8-12 times per day, but it is ok to cluster feed if that's what baby wants do.  also, the first 2 weeks of life is very important; no binkies, no bottles, no nothing during those first 2 weeks, just breast.  it's vital to get a solid foundation and the perfect latch before babies mouth gets used to anything else. once that's done, they encourage to use all the different nursing positions so no matter what the circumstance may be, baby will be able to eat.  makes sense.  breastfeeding is one of those things that is definitely easier said than done ... I'll just leave it at that, but after I say this ... I am completely convinced that there is nothing better for your baby, and all the frustrations of it is sooooo worth it in the end.  ok, I'm done.

I got to see the delivery rooms too.  all the ones I saw had an ocean view; I'm looking forward to that part.  chances are I'll catch the sunrise AND the sunset for at least a couple days.  nice, huh?

I bought some really small diapers yesterday.  it's really real, and it's really happening ... 2 weeks from today.  somehow walking around with a growing belly is not proof enough for me, it's buying all this baby stuff and setting up 'baby stations' throughout my house that is making it real.

I have 1 more OB appt on Friday at 3pm.  she wants to take 1 more ultrasound for measurements; to make sure that 2 weeks early is not too too early.  I have a feeling everything will be just perfect.

I've been talking to people who have been in my shoes and they tell me "it's only natural to be nervous.  in fact if you weren't nervous, something would be wrong with you."  at first I totally agreed; all the statistics and special circumstances allow me, or justify me to be nervous ... scared is the real word.  but it hit me a couple days ago, being someone who believes in God, fear cannot have a place in this.  so what about statistics, so what about the special circumstances, God has a plan regardless.  if this is my time to die, so be it, it's already planned.  if this is an experience to learn and grow from, so be it, it's already planned.  if this somehow allows God to shine, by all means, use me ... because it's already planned.  I just need to fully trust Him like I say I do, like the He wants me to, and like the bible tells me to.  I must find peace in that, if I don't, I have missed the point entirely.