Fingerprint Friday

I love Fingerprint Friday.
I think I need to do it more often.


most of my photos for this are outdoors somewhere.  aside from my kids, the "stuff" that make up my home are blessings, making life a little bit easier.  BUT they just don't compare to the beauty and awe I get from being outside.
there is something I connect with there that I don't get anywhere else.  I'm not a writer and am having a hard time finding the words ... maybe next Friday.

this day was a beautiful day and the sun snuck behind the clouds for a minute.  the size of the trees are bigger than enormous.  the clouds are so fluffy ... btw, I love clouds.


looking up into the sky, seeing this, I automatically begin to think of God ... since He's up there too somewhere.  does that make me sound like a kid - God is up & hell is down?  but it is .... :)




get inspired.  take a picture.  and join the fun.
check out Beki @ The Rusted Chain.

Fingerprint Friday

God's creation continuously amazes me, and in Hawaii, its so easy to see such beauty.

its a paradise, after all.

my boys and I met a new friend yesterday ... fingerprint thursday maybe?

we found him just chillin' in the corner.  poor guy.  I'm sure he was clueless his fate would have him in the hands of little boys!  

they were soooooooo excited.  my oldest especially loves all bugs, insects, animals ... anything that moves, really.  its heaven for him.

our word for the morning was OBSERVE ... but still, he was thrown, tossed, poked at, screamed at, and dropped once or twice, but know that he was unharmed and made it out alive & well.  promise.  we've had other friends that weren't so lucky.

it blows my mind not only how all things were created, but also, what was created.  and although I'm curious to the design of this life and ALL those involved (this guy included), I'm at peace here & now know that all my questions will be answered when I'm in heaven with my Creator.  I can't wait to see & understand it all the way He does.




Go visit The Rusted Chain for more inspiration.  enjoy.

Fingerprint Friday

Fingerprint Friday was inspired by a Steven Curtis Chapman song -

I can see the fingerprints of God

when I look at you

I can see the fingerprints of God

and I know its true

you're a masterpiece

that all creation quietly applauds

and you're covered with the fingerprints of God

to be honest, I have never heard this song ... but reading the words without the music is still pretty inspiring, no?  God's fingerprints are everywhere.  look around, take note, and be thankful.

Does this ever get old?  not to me!

somehow when the rays of sunshine pass through the clouds like this, its such a good reminder how much went into making this place; not that it was hard for Him.  maybe it was just the snap of His fingers.  but don't overlook that simple fact, He put it together.  He put it ALL together.  

When nature offers beauty like this, how can you possibly think all you see is one big accident?

Find God's Fingerprints around your day to day and join us here!

not the "haha" funny

I think its funny that the most loved holiday is Christmas.


I think its funny how people talk about the Christmas Spirit, and somehow, this Spirit allows people to be more generous and thoughtful of others.


I know you've heard this before ... CHRISTmas.  now, how did HIS name get in there?




I know that every family has their own traditions, and yes, its not quite like that of 2000+ years ago .... but at the same time, it is.




families come together to eat, drink, & be merry. we get together and celebrate the day, together.
kind of like when Jesus was born; it was celebrated among many.


we give gifts to people who are important to us, who have a place in our hearts.  we give much, because we were given much.
kind of sounds like that CHRISTmas spirit, no?  allow me to be the first (or not) but the Spirit IS real.  you're not imagining it.  there is "something" in the air.


we all have either a star or an angel on top of our tree, right?
and that's just like how the wise men followed a star to find that newborn baby, meanwhile, the angels rejoiced.


its funny.


I also its funny how so many people know and sing our traditional Christmas songs.  you are proclaiming so much more than you know.  sing it loud!


so many don't claim to be christian, but the traditions of long ago are still very much happening ... which to me, says the same thing as ... you don't have to be a christian for God to be real.  you don't have to believe its Christ's birthday, but it is, and its happening anyway.




just my thoughts for tonight ....

because they will ask ...

I try to teach my kids to know right from wrong. 
to know when to stop, or to keep going.
to know how to ask for help.
to never give up, and to try and try and try again.


a quote I heard recently -
"never look down at other people ... unless you are bending over to help them up"
I want to teach them that too.


I teach them if someone isn't treating you right, use your words.  if that doesn't work, get an adult.  and if that doesn't do anything, walk away and find something else to do.
everyone doesn't know the golden rule.  I wish they did.  if they did, I think it would solve a lot of problems.


its funny, what you try to teach your kids, its usually a good "refresher course" for the parent too.  I suppose God had that in mind when he created these kids.  perfect just for me.


of course as I'm re-learning some of these lessons, I have more questions.  questions I'm afraid my kids will ask, because 1. I know they will ask eventually, and 2. I'm afraid because I don't have the answers.  


certain things are so black and white, yes or no; so easy, uncomplicated ... I guess all that entails (the not-so-common) common sense.  other things are the exact opposite, but, I don't need to tell you that, do I?  allow me to quote your mother, and mine "no one said life was fair."


its one thing to know it in your head, but when you're living it out, all these "what if's" come into play, and its very, very different.  it seems there are so many rules that bend due to the circumstances.  everything doesn't have a final line in the sand ... and I think that is what is driving me crazy.  I guess I'm a person who likes boundaries and it kills me to be the one to make them.  but sometimes you have to, like with the things you teach your kids.


what would you do, if you couldn't be you?  if you weren't accepted as you are?  if everything you said, thought, and felt was debated, questioned or attacked?  as I teach my kids, if all else fails, walk away ... because there is only so much you can do with that.


but do I, as an adult, also walk away?  or do I take it, because the rules say I have to?  or are rules and boundaries made as a guide?  kind of like the ropes in the water that say 'its safe to swim here, but not over there' when really, its the exact same.  
which is the better example for my kids?  I never want to live a lie.  I am not a fan of "fake it till you make it," to me, its based on a lie, but to me "practice what you preach" is very true.


too many euphemisms?
they're kind of like stereotypes; no one likes them or wants to be stereotyped one way or another, but there is truth to them since they're based on the majority.  right?


now in my opinion, the important part is to not hold resentment.  don't get bitter.  don't hold onto the offense and let it root in you.  I can't help but think of "don't hate the player, hate the game" ... can't believe I just said that, but hey, its true.  to me its just like what Jesus said " father forgive them, for they know not what they do."


certain things in life don't work on a clock.
issues come when they need to.
holiday or no holiday, its when God says "NOW."

AIDS day

do you know someone with AIDS/HIV?
today is AIDS Day.  I haven't officially checked into this, but its probably more like AIDS Awareness Day ... everything is so generically PC now.


I have heard stories and read the news over the years about the journey of infected patients.  there is nothing fun about it.  the (routine) medication process is so completely debilitating on the body; it seems similar to what chemo does to a cancer patient.  kills everything but your spirit.


I knew someone who was diagnosed, years ago.  his journey was a whole 2 months, so I didn't witness the "traditional" progression of it.
you can read last year's post about that HERE.  I just re-read it myself ... I'd probably write it a bit differently today, but for the most part, I still agree with myself.


still, I think of him from time to time.  and still, it brings tears to my eyes.


I know that today isn't (necessarily) remember-all-the-people-you-know-who-died-of-AIDS day, in fact my friend died in the summer.  still, as AIDS Awareness Day, and him being the only association I have with this disease, it becomes a day of remembrance for me anyway.


today, I'd like to share the poem he wrote.  this was on the back page of the program to his memorial service.  I wonder if he'd be ok that his family shared this ... working together as much as we did, I didn't know he was a writer at all.  it was kind of a nice surprise to see, on such a sad day at his funeral.

Repentance
by Mitch Beasley


The man and wife
together, in love
A child is born
God's gift from above


Love and kindness
meet all of his needs
Faithful attempt
to know where this leads


Choice to be made
his parents know right
But only his
today or tonight


"He chose 'the way'
Good Christians rejoice"
Still, he struggles
to silence that voice


That voice, all pain
but burned with desire
He fights with might
still the flames rise higher


Then the day shows
when fire, too torrid
Consumed his heart
on paths too horrid


"Good Christians come,
suffer his anguish.
The place he stands
is not in his wish."


Jailed by the flame
no exit, no out
Until the choice
he recalls, without doubt


"Call on my soul,
and wherever, to come."
"Father above
your will for mine.  Be done."


All fire, doused out
burns, char mark the spot
Remind all the souls
of this evil lot


But tribulation
has come and now gone
Let the spirit
return to his home


"Now come around
good Christians, again.
The boy has learned,
come back to this land."


Congratulate this boy,
facing his soul
For very few
could ever be so bold.


And when pain comes
Instead, don't choose to run
'Call on my soul,
and wherever, to come.'

10 of 30

I'm in the shower this morning, doing my thing ... and by doing my thing I mean I'm taking a shower ... and as I'm rinsing the shampoo out of my hair, hair is coming with it.

now that is always happened, but lately, its been more than usual. Have you seen The Craft? I couldn't help but think of this:

ok, so it wasn't quite that bad, but it was enough for me to wonder.

then I remember having a full head of wonderful, thick, curly hair, mostly while pregnant. it was so nice not lose it in the shower. I think I kept every single hair on my head.

and then I thought, I'm gonna use this on my thankful list!!

I am THANKFUL that I am not pregnant, even though there are a few things I miss about it.

here's what I do miss:

• people treating you as a priceless & fragile piece of art because of your ability make babies
• people being so accepting of how much you eat
• people allowing for extra naptime
• and then of course, all the ooh's and aah's of a newborn

I am also THANKFUL I won't get pregnant, although there is that always 1 in a bazillion chance. (fyi - I was "fixed" after baby #2) I just wanted to make it clear to God I wasn't interested in having more kids, but if God has other plans, well then, I'm fine with being used for a miracle. when/if that happens, I will also change my name to Mary.

here's what I don't miss:

• the 24/7 nausea feeling of the first 4 months
• then after those 4 months, always being hungry
• the extra sensitive emotions
• feeling like an elephant ... or whale, depending on the day
• towards the end - back aches & swollen feet
• tossing and turning and NEVER getting comfortable
• I could go on ...

so by being thankful for not being pregnant or getting pregnant, I cannot thank God enough for the 2 babies I did have. they are amazing human beings. and I am thankful to be entrusted with their lives (for awhile anyway) and to be called mama by the 2 sweetest little voices ever.

attached at the hip

literally overnight, Elliott has gotten major separation anxiety. major.

I can't leave him in the cart at Costco during the checkout process anymore. I'm what, 3 feet away?! he used to LOVE talking with whoever was there loading the cart. he's not shy, but for whatever reason, he's not having it anymore.

today we went to the beach; it was the perfect morning for snorkeling. hubby and I have to take turns because Elliott isn't swimming yet, so my turn comes and he flips out as I go into the water. when you snorkel, you're floating on top [mostly] and so your ears go in and out of the water. I heard that boy crying and screaming the entire time I was out. apparently daddy does not suffice.

those are just the latest examples.

I was beginning to think Elliott was going to skip this stage altogether. I only vaguely remember Sam having this "issue," but it must not of been that bad if I don't really remember, right?

this too shall pass. sigh.

like I said, he's not a shy boy. Samuel and Elliott both have gotten my husband's gifting of loving people. they can easily talk with others ... which this mom is slightly paranoid about, but ultimately, I know it's God's gifting for them.

and I have to say, for Elliott especially, he can make people smile that you would NEVER expect to see smile. you know those people? angry, old people, or anyone who obviously is having a bad day; when they get a look at Elliott's face, they crack ... and I really love to witness those moments.

a clue

usually people struggle financially with school ... of course most of us do the college thing after the high school thing. not me of course. I went to high school, got married, then went to school, but then didn't finish because then I had babies ... sigh. I understand the method it's "suppose to be," ... but I believe in His plan, so I guess that doesn't matter, does it?

whenever it begins to matter in a young girls life, that's when I began struggling with what I am suppose to do. what do I want to be when I grow up? and since becoming a christian, the question becomes, what is my calling?

since I became a mommy before having to pick a career, I simply didn't have to and assumed that being a mommy was my calling. problem solved ... sort of.

since becoming a wife/mother, I've known that "my place" isn't always going to be in the home. when we had kids, we both agreed we didn't want a daycare to raise our kids. luckily, we've always had that option, and for that I am thankful. Sam is almost 6 ... so it's been 6 years now that I've been at home. coming from a life of working 2 jobs (at one time 3), and actually enjoying it, 6 years of not working at all outside the home has been, at times, difficult.

as I was working on my Avon stuff, I had a thought the other day about going back to school to become a licensed esthetician. now I honestly think the beauty industry is so full of deception, however, there is a side that is genuine, and that is the part that intrigues me. I like how a hair style and makeup is a way to express yourself, how clear skin boosts your self confidence, and the feeling your whole body can get from a single massage.

the school I want to attend is downtown and only take 7 months, but that's an hour drive each way and they require full time hours ... neither I can do right now. it was a big bummer. I don't think a door has ever closed so fast on me before.

ok God, I hear you.

and the waiting game continues ...

leaving christianity

can one really leave christianity?

I used to not think so, but I read this entertainment blog (which by the way, I NEVER do! I saw the title and it intrigued me.) and I thought she explained it just about perfectly.

Ann Rice fan? check it out.

recoginizing God

first let me say, I just don't believe in coincidence or luck anymore. there are things that are, or work out to be, just too perfect. I cannot give credit to chance any longer. there is a plan people ... and I'm pretty positive that God is behind it!

* we found a family to sublet our house after 36 hours of posting it on craigslist. not only did they fill out the application and send it in, they were approved and paid 6 months in advance. they also bought a lot of our stuff - our king size bed with the linens, our 3 piece leather sofa set, metal shelving for the garage, a set of barstools, and currently debating on purchasing our washer & dryer. that much less we have to move!

* everything is for sale, and I've been posting the good stuff also on craigslist, and it's selling! normally it wouldn't be a big deal, but we live in Divide, which is a small blink-and-you-miss-it type place and people are driving an hour, sometimes more, to come buy our stuff. now that is just not typical.

* having enough money to move anywhere and put at least a down payment on a piece of land. probably 1-3 acres, but that's all we need for what we want to do.

* after swallowing steak bones, and who knows how many, our dog is alive and well.

* although my family is not thrilled at our moving decision, I know that God will bring peace to them about it, eventually. it's been stressful. I sort of feel like I was put in a corner with their unwillingness about it all, but it's good that I am having to explain how and why we live the way we do, with our focus on God and what He has for us. it may have drawn a line in the sand, but I know what side I'm on, God's. and that feels good.

* I have today

the waiting room

what do you do when you're not called to go? and not called to stay?

you're suppose to wait on the Lord. ok, I agree with that.

but how long does one wait?

my simple answer would be "indefinitely." however long God wants you to wait. a season being a day, a week, a month, or years.

and of course when applying it to MY life, my answer changes a bit. you see, I have been asking & wondering & praying for years about who I am, what am I to do ... simply, my ultimate purpose for God.

I have come to terms with life I have now; it was somewhat of a struggle for a time. as in, the husband God made me for, the kids God blessed us with, certain relationships, and the rest of life is seemingly circumstantial. and we all know circumstances are always changing, usually out of our control, so my daily goal is not to worry about that stuff. let tomorrow worry about itself, Matthew chapter 6.

I have never been called to a specific church, to do mission work, to use my God-given talent ... because I don't believe I have one that is THAT apparent, and as much as I may have wanted, I've never been called to stay in one particular place. I guess that's why I married the guy I did, because he doesn't have that either.

the one thing he does have, is a gift that is obvious to everyone who meets him. he's a people person - sales, counseling/teaching, marketing, leadership. he's gifted without trying. and for the last few years, after finally acknowledging this, he's been focusing on how to use this to better himself and those around him for God. as a christian businessman, you start and finish with honesty.

I'm getting away from ... my point? no, my vent.

so anyway, with all that, it fits to into the perspective to do things while looking for God's red flag. doesn't it? now I not saying that because it's convenient and easy for latest decision on moving, but in consideration of our current circumstances (without worrying about them) we aren't/don't get the direct answers we're wanting ... or we're still doing something wrong.

yes, we're in the word.

yes, we listen to worship music.

yes, we pray.

we position ourselves the best way we know how to taste, hear, and see.

what's the verse that says -

when you get to heaven, you will see/know all things as He does

obviously not verbatim. I probably should know the verse, because I really do like this one. it's one I envision, and I like the image I get. standing with God, and Him explaining everything I don't understand, as we look down on the world together. just talking with His undivided attention. can't wait for that.