its new years, and ....

my photos are so unorganized
chances are, I'll just skip a Christmas post altogether
eh, I'm out of my element anyway with this blogging stuff
you daily bloggers ... do you just have no one to talk to???
how on earth do you blog so much???
of course, I have no one over 6 to talk to either ... haha!



skipping the long complicated story, we are staying in a condo in downtown Waikiki for the weekend.  for free!  I love free!


I got to walk down to starbucks this morning.  it was lovely.
there really are some great things about living in a city.  and now, after living in the country (or what the locals call county ... but actually, its not really country) its nice & refreshing, convenient & easy.




I have forgotten a few things about this city ...
- there are TONS of people, and at starbucks, the line was out the door.  but the crew behind the counter must've had their coffee too, and it actually didn't take too long.  it was sort of amazing.
- almost everyone in there was in workout clothes.  they had all just finished their jog/walk/bike ... but to starbucks??  who drinks coffee after a workout??  I don't get it.
- and apparently its ok to be more or less naked since the beach is directly across the street ... good grief! why wear anything at all?!


- I took another route on the way back and passed by a church.  there was a homeless man sleeping on a piece of cardboard on the front steps.  I know a lot of people choose to be homeless, especially here, but still, I wonder how people end up where they do.  don't you?
then I noticed his cardboard was one big puddle.  the man was sleeping in a puddle of piss.  whaaaat?!  I was upset ... I was so sad, so disappointed, and so angry all at once.  I still am not sure what to think of it ... but if I had an extra pair of pants with me, I would've left 'em for him.


- at night, this city is very much a party place.  the party-ers I don't like are the tourists.  its like watching spring break on mtv, which to me, is disgusting.  go get drunk, naked, and stupid at home.  you don't need to go on vacation to do that!!  right?!


- apparently Hawaii is banning fireworks, so new years will be the last big show.  this is why we came.  we plan on heading to the beach to watch.  should be fun!


have a happy & safe new years!!  
ps. I have a resolution list in the making ... rough draft, you know. :)




later tonight -
so wouldn'tcha know it ... I ended up at burger king for dinner.  its a glamourous life, you know.  but I had to walk past that same homeless guy to get there.  I don't think he moved an inch.
still unsure of how I feel about it ... but let me also say, it really doesn't matter what I think in the scheme of things, just to myself I suppose ... but I wanted to do something, so I bought him a couple chicken sandwiches.
I had Elliott with me.  he didn't get it of course, but he saw.
I couldn't give him pants, or a shower, or a comfy bed.  he gladly took the food though, and, I'm glad I could help his stomach at least.

not the "haha" funny

I think its funny that the most loved holiday is Christmas.


I think its funny how people talk about the Christmas Spirit, and somehow, this Spirit allows people to be more generous and thoughtful of others.


I know you've heard this before ... CHRISTmas.  now, how did HIS name get in there?




I know that every family has their own traditions, and yes, its not quite like that of 2000+ years ago .... but at the same time, it is.




families come together to eat, drink, & be merry. we get together and celebrate the day, together.
kind of like when Jesus was born; it was celebrated among many.


we give gifts to people who are important to us, who have a place in our hearts.  we give much, because we were given much.
kind of sounds like that CHRISTmas spirit, no?  allow me to be the first (or not) but the Spirit IS real.  you're not imagining it.  there is "something" in the air.


we all have either a star or an angel on top of our tree, right?
and that's just like how the wise men followed a star to find that newborn baby, meanwhile, the angels rejoiced.


its funny.


I also its funny how so many people know and sing our traditional Christmas songs.  you are proclaiming so much more than you know.  sing it loud!


so many don't claim to be christian, but the traditions of long ago are still very much happening ... which to me, says the same thing as ... you don't have to be a christian for God to be real.  you don't have to believe its Christ's birthday, but it is, and its happening anyway.




just my thoughts for tonight ....

"Parenting"

I was reading Parenting magazine today and realized, I no longer like to read it.

But what I noticed is that the whole magazine is geared towards mommies with babies, obviously, but the majority of what I read was fear based. It seems to target first time mommies who are paranoid about everything. In my opinion, it would make it worse than relieve worry. Yes it answers questions, but only after bringing up every what-if scenario, every possible diagnosis, along on how to buy super trendy & totally not needed baby items.

Here's one example for you -

a cardboard box selling for $50. check it out here. it is cute and I see where they're going with it, but really, it's a box. you can get a box anywhere. in fact here's a tip, go to your local appliance store and ask for a box. those boxes are huge! make your own.

a couple good things though ... if you shop these stores.

The Children's Place, 15% off, online code: PARENTINGA9

Gymboree, 20% off, online code: 1101TTKNBV82491

Diapers.com, $10 off, online code: PTGMAR2010

also, it was good to see an Avon fragrance featured as a new smell for mommy. They featured Ungaro Fever, check it out here. and I have to mention, a portion of any order from my online store will be donated to Avon's Walk for Breast Cancer. or if you'd like to donate directly, do so here.

where do you get your parenting advice?

merry chirstmas

Merry CHRISTmas!

Being a christian I've known December 25th is Jesus' birthday, but I've used this day like the rest of the world - this year included. I'm going through the motions of the day, the way our culture has created it to be. traveling to be with family, friends, eating lots of food, dressing up, buying and giving gifts ... which is all great, but if today is a birthday, shouldn't we be honoring Him? I'm going through the motions because I feel an obligation, and I don't feel like I'm honoring Jesus by doing it.

the obligation is from what I was raised in, by worldly people. and kids believe the truth to be whatever their parents do and say. after becoming an adult (whenever that was) it then becomes my fault, my ignorance, my obligation, my distraction from what Christmas is REALLY suppose to be.

a true believer doesn't just believe in Jesus. a true believer doesn't just go to church on Sundays. it's not just about reading the bible, it's about living it. and not just on Christmas, but every single day.

going through the motions of obligation is NOT living it. I don't want to pass onto my children that same obligation. Today we honor the birth of our Lord.

I'm not entirely sure what that will include (I'm thinking volunteering &/or a soup kitchen) but I just know that how we are doing it this year is not right. Give in a way you can; give with faith to people who actually need it ... like Jesus came to heal the sick, to those who needed it and were faithful for it.

Americans consume way too much as it is ... and then to throw Christmas on top of that, then it just become ridiculous! how much stuff does a person need?!

All that said, we've decided to tell Samuel that Santa is a made up story. He's definitely not traumatized, in fact, I'm not convinced he totally believes us. he says "what about all the songs mama?" I guess he'll get it next year!

Happy Birthday Jesus!

AIDS day

first let me say, these are just MY thoughts. if you'd like to have a civil discussion about this subject, I'm all ears. that said, I have mixed feelings about today, which is AIDS day.

I read an article about a gay couple in Argentina that wanted to marry today. the government stopped it, saying it was unconstitutional. it's going up for review, blah, blah, blah, whatever loopholes Argentina has to make them jump through.

there are gay marriage battles all over our country too, since it's not legal in every state ... yet. I believe it will be allowed in the majority of states, sooner than later.

before I was saved, I believed that anyone can love anyone. gay, straight, whatever; "all you need it love." (side note: the Beatles are awesome!)

knowing God now and reading his word, I have come to learn how wrong it is. simply stated, it's a sin. there are lots of scripture about sexual immorality (from a bible-believing perspective will include homosexuality), but here are a couple passages about homosexuality specifically - Romans 1:18-32 and 1 Corinthians 6:9-11

I have had some experience with AIDS. I had a co-worker/friend die from AIDS. I was his assistant at a furniture store; anyone that works full time knows that you often spend more time with your co-workers than your family and friends. this was my situation. we really got to know each other after 40-60 hours per week. he was a great guy. openly gay (not that he really had to tell you he was!) and was in a monogamous relationship, or so he thought.

he got a routine check up, and because he was gay, got tested for HIV. not exactly a test you can study for. he was diagnosed in February '98. wow, it's been 10 years already. I still think about him often.

his doctors put him on medication right away so it wouldn't progress to AIDS. he quit his job so he could move and be closer to his family, since he didn't know how long he'd have left in this life; he did this just a couple months after his diagnosis. apparently he had a major allergic reaction to his medication and on the drive to his parents, his eyes got so swollen an ambulance had to be called from the road. he went to the hospital and never left.

can you imagine having just 2 months to process all that? the one you love has not only cheated on you, but gave you HIV?!

it was all very sad. a co-worker and I drove to his funeral. he was raised a christian, which I never knew about him. I was a VERY new christian then, so I didn't ask or really talk about it much. on the program included a poem he wrote. it was about the torture of being a gay man, but having a christian mind/beliefs.

so I believe he knew it was wrong all along. how tragic.

I have a pastor friend who has this perspective on homosexuality -

he believes people are born gay, just like people are born with any disease. it's unfortunate, but it happens. we all have our "issues." sexual immorality is a big one for a lot of people; it could be pornography, prostitutes, adultery, homosexuality, among others. it is sin. we all have sin in one way, shape, or form. sin has had a snowball effect on mankind for so long, that people are literally born that way now. for any of our "issues" the KEY is self control. do we give in to our fleshly desires? we're certainly not supposed to if it causes us to sin; check out the link here.

I like this perspective. it makes sense to me.

what doesn't make sense are gay christian churches. how can they interpret those verses differently and justify their lifestyles?

of course there are other ways to get AIDS. you don't hear about it too much though.

Starbucks (and others) are donating part of your purchase to AIDS awareness. I'm conflicted. I'm all for supporting cancer organizations; cancer comes without warning or any reason at all. but supporting AIDS day seems to be supporting the "right to be gay." yes, I know it's also for raising awareness through education, but ultimately, it supports the gay community. no? this could just be my ignorance ... but that's me being honest. I wouldn't go to the gay pride parade just because I like parades and rainbows. would you?

leave me a comment no matter what you believe. I'm interested.

ps. I saw a bumper sticker a few weeks ago that I really like.

it said - I'm not gay, I just like rainbows

harsh reality

I was reading Luke chapter 21 and Jesus is explaining the signs of the end of the age. not a mere man, Jesus. those words in red. to me, knowing that the words are from Jesus has a bigger impact. and it should.

here's a blurb (Luke 21:9-11)

"when you hear of wars and revolutions, do not be frightened. these things must happen first, but the end will not come right away. then he said to them "nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. there will be great earthquakes, famines and pestilences in various places, and fearful events and great signs from heaven."

how funny is it when your world somehow completely compliments the scripture you read that same day? funny. ironic. just too perfect. to me, it must be God getting through.

in this case, it wasn't flowers and rainbows of hope and love. it was the ugly truth. the process of the end times. the snowball effect of sin in our world. the unimaginable actually happening. the reality of this world. disgusting and cold. no I'm not happy about it. it's keeping me up at night.

for a long while I wouldn't watch or read the news, it was all too sad and depressing. but I started up again during election time to stay in the loop somewhat. I was feeling stupid not knowing what was happening; listening but not participating in discussions because I was simply clueless. so I was catching up on the news yesterday (I use cnn.com) and was horrified. have you read the news lately?!

** a mom murdered her 2 boys (2 & 8) and then tried to commit suicide. slit their throats and then her own. when she was unsuccessful at killing herself, she made up a story about being kidnapped and he killed the boys. the police found her boys in her van, left for dead. the 8 year old somehow survived and was able to tell the police who did this to him, not to mention, he witnessed his brother's death.

** the Fort Hood incident. cnn is calling it a massacre. 13 dead.

** the Ohio man with 11 bodies found buried all over his home. a murderer, a serial rapist & sex offender.

** FL baby Shannon found under a bed

** a 30 year old woman found dead in the lake right outside my house!

I can hardly believe it all. I can't fathom what goes on in the minds of these people. what happened in their lives to lead to this? this isn't just ugly, it's really twisted.

it's easy to say sin is sin, but when you put in terms of shoplifting vs murder & rape ... I don't know how God deals with it all. yet another reason why He's so awesome I suppose.

another aspect to this is the media and what stories they present. our culture is so numb. we seem to "need" more violence, more excitement, more consequences, more, more, more to be interested. (side note: it makes me think of Monsters Inc. how they need screams to run their city, but kids just aren't scared anymore)

so back to the verse -

to me it's clear that this kind of ugliness will continue on. as nasty as the world is, it will get worse before it ends. there will come a point we will want it to end, and it won't. God is going to allow our sin to snowball, or I should say, He is allowing it. Jesus says these things MUST happen. and in a godly sort of way, He will say I told you so.

I only listed criminal stories because that's what I read about. there are also earthquakes & hurricanes happening worldwide, destroying lives. starving people are everywhere. diseases - AIDS, cancer, notice all the drug commercials on tv? those are mindgames. there are more and more and more ... with more coming.

they are all fearful events. unpredictable. grown mature people of the world, but undeveloped & immature spirits that have no grasp. scary to watch people lose such control, giving in to the enemy.

I don't know why God brought all this to my attention. I didn't think I was living in a dream-world, I knew ugliness was out there. I don't want to know these stories. I don't want to hear about the details. my heart aches. I can't sleep. I don't understand.

trying to find some peace with Luke 21:14, "but make up your mind not to worry beforehand how you will defend yourselves," and also Luke 21:19, "by standing firm you will gain life."

what do you think about the end times? will we see it?

I've always known my kids will see more than I, but it's their kids (my grandkids) and will see the end. I think we are close. really close.

where do you get your news? is there a "nicer" news resource out there?