crush

do you remember your first crush?
I remember thinking Stephen was cute (so cute!) in the 3rd grade, and I was so sad to have to move away at the end of that school year and be away from him ... although I can't ever remember saying 2 words to him.


love is funny that way, right?




my Samuel is in 2nd grade, and has informed me of some rather big news -
"mom, I almost married a girl at school today"
"really?  does she know about this?"
"no.  but she's so beautiful!"
"did you get a name?"
"her name is Faye and she looks like she's from China"


hahahahahahahahaha!  gotta love kids.


"well does she speak Chinese?"
"no"
"she is probably just as American as you are."
"she's so beautiful.  she wears these little red heart earrings."
"does she know how much you like her?"
"no, but maybe you could buy some flowers for me to give to her.  what do you say?"
"I say, why don't you draw her a picture of some flowers?"
"mooooooom, no way."
"let's give this some time.  school just started 2 weeks ago."
"I'm gonna try and sit next to her tomorrow."


I totally missed back to school night due to illness, which also means I missed my chance to meet this future daughter-in-law, along with her parents.  I've heard of high school sweethearts, but ... funny to think about Sam growing up, getting married, and making me a grandma.  although I do mention it to him from time to time so he kind of gets it ... but then again, not really.


wish me luck!

2nd grade

school started today.  yes, on a Wednesday.
not sure if its an effort to help everyone get used to the schedule without all 5 days dragging on, or ..... ???

last year we homeschooled.  this year is the exact opposite; off to public school.
he's always asked to go to school, so he was very excited this day has finally come.

he was nervous and practically skipped breakfast, which he NEVER does.  I tried not to make a big deal out that, and just keep him excited about the day.

I took another picture of him next to the school sign out front of the office.

(he's in 2nd grade; next year I might not get so lucky with the pictures! )

but I told him to meet me here - at the sign - after school.  "ok mom."

so 2:10 comes around and I wait.  and wait.  and wait.

there is a large crowd as soon as the bell rings, and soon enough, everyone finds where they need to be.

the after school program in the cafeteria begins.  the buses leave.  teachers are closing their doors.

where is Sam?

not at the sign.  not in his classroom.  not on the playground.  not in the office.  not in the cafeteria.

so I'm doing laps around school property and can't find him anywhere.

my stress has been high lately, and I'm doing my best to stay calm; keeping the tears back.

I decide to get some help at the main office.  I start talking and instantly my voice shakes and the tears roll.  

all along I knew in my gut that wherever Sam was, he wasn't freaking out.  I knew he was not kidnapped or anything ... but don'tcha HATE that little voice that tries to tell you you just might be?

so I get the help of a few staff members.  it took another good 10 minutes, and finally, he appears.
we was (technically) off school property.  waiting in a spot that we never even suggested, but somehow, his brain reasoned this was the spot.

he saw I was/had been crying, and gave me a big hug.  the staff had a few words for him, but really, they handled it all very well.  not sure if because it was the first day of school, or that they are always like that, but I was pleased they didn't assume the role of lecturing parent.

I've been saying to my family, friends, and to myself, that once we get on this new school schedule, a lot of things will work itself out.  that has been my focus for awhile, but I never thought there would be THIS kind of work to get there.

sigh.

the worst is over.  today is a new day.
and now, Sam definitely knows to meet me at the sign.

pets

since before moving in, my boys have wanted a pet.  we've had dogs in the past, and once we had a bird, but long story short, we've been pet-less for some time now.
I'm still convinced a dog is just like having another kid, so no thank you on that.  plus, I can't have *real* pets in this apartment anyway.


I've been wanting to get the boys a hamster.  I had one as a kid, and loved it ... *cough* until it bit me *cough* ...  I love the tunnels you can set up for them, and especially the ball they can roll around on the floor in.  they're not too big to be a *real* pet ... shhhhhhhh, don't tell, ok?


my other not *real* pet I said we could get is a beta fish.  I have a tall glass vase and some blue/green glass pebble thingys already, so all we needed was the fish and some food.  easy.
so it took the boys forever to pick one out.  they were all SO COOL to them.  they would have bought them all if they could ... Sam knows that you can only have one, otherwise they will fight till the death, so of course he wanted to buy them all and begin the beta-WWI.


we finally decide on one; he's blue with some red on those pretty fins.  Sam wanted to name him "Big Fins."  he's so funny.  I liked it, but told him we ought to wait a day or two to officially decide.


so we get home and I fill the vase with water and add him in his jar to acclimate to the temperature before just dumping in.  after a few minutes, in his goes.  
well, I had added a bit too much water.  it was a balancing act; the water was right at the top.  and since beta's are not so excitable fish and like to sit and do next to nothing, I tip the vase ever so slightly to get rid of some of that extra water, and wouldn'tcha know it?!  that fish was right at the top and went flying down the water slide into the kitchen sink.


where the garbage disposal is.


GREAT.


I screamed.  and the boys come running.
"Mom, what did you do?!"


as much as it gives me the heebie-geebies, I knew I had to reach in there and try to get him out.  I HAD TO ... especially after the traumatizing cat incident.  there was no way we could go through another pet death, in any fashion!


so I'm digging in there.  and its gross.  and have you seen Final Destination?  yea, I'm thinking of that.  and suddenly I feel the fish, and he jumps in there, and he's slimy, and I scream, and I could not grasp him, and so I have to feel around some more since I KNOW he's close and still alive.


minutes and minutes and minutes go by.  I thought he was a goner.  I thought I'd have to put him out of his misery and flip that garbage disposal switch. the boys were crying and my heart is breaking for them - sorry fish, I felt bad for my kids, not you.


Sam gets control of himself and I ask him to stick his hand in there since its smaller and sure enough, he got out that little fish in about 30 seconds.  I cannot believe he was alive!


stupid fish.  what were you thinking?!


so back in the vase he goes.  swimming just fine.  he hasn't eaten much today yet, so maybe he's still a bit freaked out, but alive none-the-less.


"Sam, I think we should name him LUCKY"
"good idea Mom!"


meet Lucky -

un-potty training

... kind of like an un-schooling approach.


looking back, I think I did it all wrong with my first son.  I tried candy, but I think that just officially turned on his sweet tooth.  I tried a sticker chart, and he was nothing but destructive with it; peeling all the stickers off to put everywhere and anywhere else but back on the chart. I then tried pull-ups, thinking the [almost] big-boy-like undies would encourage him to do it the "right" and "normal" way, but it turns out the pull-ups were introduced too early and he just didn't get it.  when he got a tad older I tried again, but because my timing was off from the get-go, it screwed it all up.


*sigh*


today, Sam wears night time pull ups to bed.  that kid sleeps like a brick.
I tried to wake him before I go to bed for a potty trip, but for awhile, waking him triggered night-terrors by messing up his REM sleep cycle ... so that was out.  if you have seen your child have a night-terror then you KNOW its just not worth it.

now its Elliott's turn.  I have not pressured him AT ALL about using the potty.  


it makes me think of my pre-kid days when hubby and I had dogs instead.  it was a big decision to get a 2nd dog, because before real, human kids, these are your kids.  turns out getting a puppy after already having a trained dog was the easiest thing ever; the baby copied his "big brother" with everything.  and so, his potty training wasn't even a chore.
I've been secretly hoping this would be the case with Elliott.  he is so in love with his brother and copies everything, just about.  these last couple of weeks he's been doing really good.  I've even taken him out to the store with undies on ... yes, its a big deal.  


of course there are accidents; we're still in the "be sure to bring extra everything" stage, but that's ok.  my officially/unofficial un-potty training is working out wonderfully.  its one of those things that every child gets ... eventually.  so why fight it?


do you have potty training secrets?  I'd love to hear them ... comment away.

... its just apart of life ...

bedtime is a usual battle of the wills in our house.  your house too?
sometimes its just 1 or 2 times of me saying "ok, so what is our bedtime rule again?"  and unanimously they say "stay in bed"  so they get it ... but do they care?  other nights its more like 10-20 times.  sigh.


last night, after the usual 1-2 time lecture, Samuel comes out crying.  I knew it wasn't his "hurt cry," it wasn't his "freak out, I'm scared cry," it was one I wasn't too familiar with.  how funny, he's 6 1/2 years old and here's new one.


he comes out to hug me tightly and says, "mom, I don't want you to ever leave me.  I don't want you to die."  my heart instantly breaks.
I do my best to reassure him that part of my purpose for being alive is to be his mommy.  "God has a plan," is what I kept telling him, and reminded him of why we are thankful every night in our prayers for THIS day.


he has asked about death before, but without much concern.  for whatever reason he has taken it one step further.
I suppose I could look at it in a good way; he's thinking, he's applying principles and following through ... sort of.  but of course we all know where that "what-if thinking" gets us ... usually unnecessary anxiety.


I can't help but think of my favorite movie - Forrest Gump - and recite those words his mother told him as she lay in bed with cancer.  "death is just apart of life.  its something we're all destined to do."
I wouldn't say I'm comfortable with death, but when I think of it as the way God designed it, it brings a little more peace.  yes it will be sad to leave my loved ones, and enter in to an unknown, BUT I do look forward to meeting my Creator.


my 2 cents -
unless there is some freak accident, I don't have the sense my time to go is anytime soon. I have been told so many stories of that 6th sense kicking in when their time is near ... to me, that 6th sense is from God and its more than just a voice inside your head.




how have you handled the "death talk" with your kids?

cuuuuuuuuuuuute

I love love love when kids loose both of their upper-front teeth!  well, my big boy lost 1 of them tonight. he was SO SO SO excited!

they talk sort of funny, they sluuuuuuurp noodles (and whatever) else through there, but what I love the most is all the pictures.

those big 'ol grins without teeth.  maybe it reminds me of those baby pics ...  no need to worry, it is not triggering that!  no more babies for me.  really.

and here he is ... not willing to smile "normally" ... this may be his "normal" face ... I think he will be the class clown, don't you?

what does the tooth fairy bring your kids?

funny boy

I start the kids' bedtime routine early most nights, like 7-730pm.

They share a room together (most nights a bed too), so I do this to get them to calm down a bit, and then I can hang out with them, read, play I Spy or 20 Questions for awhile.

tonight we're laying there and I ask them "if you could be any animal, what would you be?"

Sam goes through a bunch of different ones, and then

"I want to be a black momma"

"what?!"

"a snake of course"

"Sam, there is no snake called a black momma"

as if I misunderstood, he says -

"no, not A black mama the person, but THE black momma the snake"

"you're crazy.  there is no black momma snake"

"yes mom.  I wanna be a black momma!"

too funny.

so after I put them in bed and went to google just to find out what he's thinking about

fyi - its a black mamba :)

day 03: then & now

my original intent was not to blog this picture thing everyday.  would that get boring?

I am uninspired to post about much of anything lately, so maybe since pictures are worth 1000 words, this could work out after all.

the whole idea of this class is to USE YOUR CAMERA!

however for this one, know that the 'now' pictures are current, just not from today.

I know, tsk tsk.

I'll do better, I have 27 more assignments to go!

Samuel Thomas

then, age 4

now, age 6

Elliott James

then, age 1ish

now, 2 1/2 ish

brothers, and usually, the best of friends

2008

2010

2010

what a difference 2 little years make, huh?!

I LOVE these munchkins.

they are AMAZING little people.

you can still join the class too.

click HERE or the button below.

enjoy!

after Xmas but before NYE

Sam doesn't like to be referred to as a baby anymore.  not even a little boy.
he's a big boy now, and he's acting like it ... in a good way.
his body is catching up too ... again in a good way, not in a gross, smelly way.  not sure when THAT day is coming.
in fact, I'm kind of scared of that day, but I digress ...


one day, out of the blue, Sam's tooth was waaaaay loose.  if it was ever a little bit loose, Sam didn't realize. when he discovered how loose it was, he'd show EVERYONE, and of course play with it endlessly.


eventually, little by little, it was hanging by a thread.  it made him giggle all the time; you could easily hear the excitement in his laughter.


do you remember that as a kid?  I do.

one night, Matt asked him "let's just pull it out"  and to my surprise, Sam said "SURE!"


Matt barely tugged at it, and it came out, so easily.  Sam was anticipating some pain because his eyes were shut tight, like he was about to get a shot or something.  he said "are you gonna do it?"  and then there was such a look of delight on his face when he saw Matt already had it in his hand.  


then he said "I'VE GOT TO GO LOOK IN THE MIRROR!!"  and we heard him screaming & giggling from the bathroom.  it was such a moment for him.

I asked him if I could keep it safe for him until bedtime ... we decided to do the tooth fairy thing with him after all ... but he insisted he could keep it safe himself, and of course come bedtime, he didn't know where it was.  he was bummed there'd be no visit from the tooth fairy, but I think he was still more excited that he lost it at all.  so no trauma.


in fact, we're all keeping an eye out since it may just turn up somewhere!

YOU Capture - Sweetness

love

what can I say?

Samuel loves all creatures alike.

capture your moment of sweetness and join us @

I Should be Folding Laundry.

Fingerprints of God

I got this shot of Samuel yesterday.  I LOVE it.

coincidentally, I found this at The Rusted Chain. 

I think the two go together perfectly.

18 of 30

earlier this morning I heard the boys playing in the other room. I could tell it was getting heated, as in, Elliott was doing something toddlers love to do, and in turn, it drives older siblings crazy. it has been a process in teaching Sam how to deal with someone who doesn't know better ... I'll just leave it at that ... but before I heard hitting &/or screaming that normally follows, I hear Sam say "it was YOUR choice not to listen Elliott!"

guess who usually says that in this house?

this afternoon, as we're doing our schoolwork, Sam says to me "will you excuse me for a minute mom?"

after that instant shock wore off, I said "of course!"

this bad mommy will admit, my manners are not quite THAT good. that is one I don't usually say (ok, I never say that) but am thankful he picked it up wherever he did!

Moms, let us try not to focus on the bazillion times we have to say things, but rather, know that it gets in there, somewhere around the 500th time is my guess. it eventually comes out into practice, this one I'd say is closer to the 1,000,000th time its said.

think of the payoff that comes. as always, it will be when you least expect it. and, its something to be thankful for.

look what I found

can I NOT be thankful for this?!

I've seen a few of these in our apartment since I've been here. ew. I'm told its a Hawaii thing ... because I know that I'm not the most anal, organized person out there, but I'm positive I am no slob. if I leave a mess, its never food.

I found this lovely thing by total accident, in such a random place, totally unexpected, that I screamed LOUD and jumped like 5 feet. I felt like a freaked out little girl who needed daddy or something. aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

I was just putting laundry away in the boys' room, in a drawer where the shorts go, never food, just clothes, not too hot, not too cold, just shorts ... apparently anywhere dark works for them?! I don't know. all I do know is I don't like it, and I'm not thankful for these things ... God, can you tell me why you created these? ew.

so Sam comes running in to see; he's excited of course. Elliott wants to be excited too like his big brother, but mama is freaking out a bit, so he's not sure what to think of it.

Sam grabbed the first thing he saw which happened to be an empty carton from some grape tomatoes that came from Costco. if you recall (or maybe you don't) those containers have slits all over them, so the tomatoes aren't stored air tight. Sam caught this nasty thing and turns out it could fit through the slits ... so I'm screaming more now. so gross.

turns out this thing can fly; kind of like a chicken can fly, but not really ... cockroaches are the same. who knew?

it was all so chaotic, happening so disgusting slow but also so fast. finally Sam found some tupperware without holes, caught him again, and let him go outside. ew.

I'm sure there are people somewhere that eat these. ew. can you imagine?

they ought to come to Hawaii to collect. hey, maybe there's good money to be had. still, I don't think I could do it.

sigh ... how was your day?

he's really part fish

moving to Hawaii, swimming has taken on a whole new meaning us. if you live on an island and don't know how to swim, I would think you had better learn!!

when we first got here, Samuel was very timid. he'd go in but never past where he can't touch, unless his arms were wrapped around your neck. he wouldn't put his head underwater. he was fearful of the waves crashing, and wouldn't go past them. he has been exposed to water every summer of his life; I even took him for "swimming lessons" at 6mos to get him comfortable, but he still needed more time.

he did get some courage when he wore his life jacket. he liked that he could go to the deep end just float, in the pool and in the ocean. not being so worried about sinking, he did figure out that using his arms and legs helped him move around. with that, he gained even more courage.

then one day, we said no more life jacket. yes the waves will knock you down. yes you will go under.

we are firm believers in learning things "the hard way," or in my opinion, the most real-life way. and can I add, I very much dislike parents that soften every single obstacle for their child(ren). I understand wanting your child to stay inside a bubble so they won't get hurt ... but that's not life. their bubble will burst at some point. I think its much more valuable to teach them how to get up after they fall, not just keep them from falling. but I digress ...

when the life jacket left, we added a mask. at first he'd just put his face in the water so he could see, but then practically overnight, it was his whole head, then his whole body. he was diving to the bottom in no time. gaining vision gave him all the confidence in the world, however, not having that life jacket anymore also gave him a healthy dose of fear of what water can do.

now at the pool, he's doing cannonballs at the deep end. at the ocean, he's learned the pattern of the waves and goes in with perfect timing ... or if he's too excited, he'll jump right into the wave. its so awesome to watch him!

but just when I thought all I had to worry about is drowning, I now also have to worry about him drinking the water.
2 weeks ago (a day before his birthday) Sam was throwing up every 1/2 hr or so. couldn't keep anything down. Eli had it too a few days earlier, then I got it a few days later, so we all assumed it was the flu. but yesterday was another pukey day for Sam; fever, no appetite and throwing up anyway, long naps, chills, sweats ... not fun for anyone. so far, the rest of us are ok.
the only thing we can think of that links all this puking together is swimming at the pool. I've been doing some research and found multiple sites with this same information. something to note: chlorine doesn't kill everything!

just the thought of ingesting someone else's poop is enough to make me not want to ever go back to a swimming pool ... guess its a good thing we're in Hawaii and have plenty of beaches to choose from.

if you have any other ideas, let me know.

ps. Morgan, is this what makes a saltwater pool better?

Sam I am

as of October 13th, my oldest is 6.

whoa. 6.

cliche time ... where did the time go?! seriously.

having that first baby is sooooo exciting. the horror stories will and do freak you out a bit, but ultimately, excitement takes over.

usually all the unexpected stuff is enough to drive you insane, but in this case, it isn't too scary since you know you will have an adorable, tiny, heaven-smelling, perfect, piece of love in your arms. its blissful.

so fast forward 6 years and now I have a very talkative, proud bubble maker (that's farting in our house!), athletic, and silly little boy. he's a 1st grade smarty-pants and a new cub scout. I'm awfully proud.

he's still perfect.

although, I do miss nap time.

I have always been so thankful that he in whole in every way. God did give me a perfect piece of love ... one that I do still try to hold in my arms, but those moments aren't quite as much as the earlier years. he's still a mama's boy, but he really LOVES to wrestle with daddy, get tickled, and run crazy ... and now that Elliott is here, the 3 of them go crazy together.

to mothers of boys ... a piece of advice -

I taught both boys from the beginning to jump on daddy, not mommy. I strongly suggest you do the same! these boys eat constantly and are growing like weeds, so I know they will be bigger than me in no time ... honestly, they hurt me already! so instead, I opt to watch, laugh my head off, and [hopefully] get some good pictures from those play sessions. :)

Dearest Samuel,

You are loved more than you could possibly know.

Happy 6th Birthday.

xo, Mama

recess comes first

2 in 1 day. wowsers.

its been a tad difficult to begin homeschool. first off, I started it late. oops.
I didn't feel bad at first because Hawaii begins soooooo early. but now that I've started, I've realize that a goal within homeschooling is to finish when the kids attending an actual school finish.
duh, right? so we're doing 2 lessons in 1 day. it still doesn't take too long, and luckily, the first part of any grade is the review time of the previous grade. Samuel is simply kickin' its butt! he's awesome. and if we can keep at 2 lessons per day, then in theory, we'll finish early. right? in theory, anyway.

secondly, homeschool is just plain frustrating to start. once you get through the process of choosing a curriculum (which is a HUGE chore within itself) comes the time to actually doing it. I am using Abeka's 1st grade curriculum, and they have the lessons all planned out day by day. I'm not so much a go-with-the-flow type person with this type of stuff, but now that we are finding a groove, that is coming much easier.
I can now see how and why someone would start and then quit. up until this point, it really hasn't been fun ... but we're not quitters over here!

the biggest revelation to finding this groove is = RECESS.
boys are physical. period. Samuel is the one "in school," however, because its homeschool, Elliott is "in" too. he just doesn't know it.
in my perfect world, we'd get up in the morning, have our breakfast, and get right to our schoolwork. that way we could have the rest of the day to do ... whatever. we could be done by 11am if we were focused, and that's what I would strive for ... which is why it was so frustrating. it never worked out.
that perfect world is in my head, its not a real place.
isn't it funny [or some days, not-so-funny] how children wake up, INSTANTLY ready to go? their energy levels are INSTANTLY high. they don't usually need that wake up time you and I do ... or at least I do. they just have an on/off switch, and nothing else.
it can't be just my kid ... tell me its not just my kid!
I had to integrate that "whatever" time first thing in the morning, rather than later in the day. that's the beauty of homeschool, right? that I can do just that. so now, we do recess first thing to get some of that excess energy out.
today we went swimming for an hour & a half, came home, had a snack, and focus for schoolwork was instantly there. it was magical.

coincidentally, I read this article today.

I've committed to doing 1st grade at home. after that, we'll re-evaluate. I make no promises, but, so far so good.

warrior, part II

I just checked the back side of the warrior picture and found this -

me "Sammy, what's this?"

Sam "that's the warrior going out for pizza"

me "he must've gotten hungry after his fight, huh?"

Sam "yep, pizza is soooooo good!"

awesome.

bald boys

Samuel is now 5 1/2 years, and Elliott is 2 years.

I love how they love each other.

Baldness couldn't be cuter.

my today

during Elliott's naptime, I took big brother Sam out. just the two of us. it was fun.

I want to make sure that he isn't always grouped with the things his brother needs to do, because simply, he's isn't a baby anymore.

we walked to the dollar store and bought a few things, but Sam picked out a parachute diver ... know what that is? it's a boy toy. :)

he also picked out a balloon for his kindergarten teacher for her birthday tomorrow. instead of getting one that says Happy Birthday, he chose a star with America's stars and stripes on it. he insisted.

then we also went to one of my favorite places for lunch, Chipotle.

he's turning into a pretty cool kid. he's got quite the imagination. we played I-Spy the whole time.

what a GREAT way to spend my 2 hours of free time. I love that kid!

my Samuel

Samuel is an amazing boy. his 5 short years on this Earth have transformed my life completely. it's awesome having him in my life.

he is officially a kid now. since school has began this last fall, he's constantly having new concepts and ideas, having his own thoughts and awareness, as he's becoming more independent of me. more bittersweetness.

I have read more than once, that more or less, kids form their adult personalities by the time they're 8 years old, like their sense of humor, emotional reactions, creativity, etc. have you heard that?

anyway, at 5 he is awesome. he's definitely a funny guy; we like watching AFV, he tells jokes, and just has that 5 year old silliness!

he always talks about his "light" shining - going to a christian school, it's great having that much more emphasis of God in every aspect of life, and not just from me, but other adults we know, love, and trust to be in his life. their latest lesson at school is about loving each other and all the different ways you can have your light shine. he'll do something sweet for Elliott and say to me, "mom, my light was shining!" adorable, right?!

he's smart; it's amazing how much he really is like a sponge! he can read, write, count past 100, knows ABC's in Spanish; it's truly awesome to witness - a new mind expanding.

he is insistent on prayer; I love how aware he is of what it is and when to do it. as parents, we tend to always want better for our kids than whatever it was we had or didn't have, and I often think about how he has a Godly foundation now and not when he's in his later 20's, like me. although I'm thankful for being where I'm at, I wonder how different it could've been for me if my parents were believers too.

he likes himself and is happy with everything - he's definitely a glass 1/2 full person, most kids probably are though. no fear, no responsibilities, that child-like faith ... ah, to be a kid again.

and of course, we have our bad days too, but hey, he's 5 right?!

here's a couple interesting things from just today -

this afternoon: I caught Sam coloring "his goods" today. he was a bit shocked I found him doing that and I could tell sort of embarassed, so I tried not to make a huge deal out of it. after all, he was using washable markers. hahaha! but he's colored his hands, arms, and legs before ... so should his penis really be different? not sure about that one.

tonight: we have a friend over, and he brought his almost 3 year old son too. when I told Sam we were having a slumber party tonight, he says "a slumber party means you put up balloons and take your shirt off!" hahahaha! I knew what he meant about balloons, because it's kinda like a party, but the taking your shirt off part, not sure where that one came from!

kids are so funny!