a clue

usually people struggle financially with school ... of course most of us do the college thing after the high school thing. not me of course. I went to high school, got married, then went to school, but then didn't finish because then I had babies ... sigh. I understand the method it's "suppose to be," ... but I believe in His plan, so I guess that doesn't matter, does it?

whenever it begins to matter in a young girls life, that's when I began struggling with what I am suppose to do. what do I want to be when I grow up? and since becoming a christian, the question becomes, what is my calling?

since I became a mommy before having to pick a career, I simply didn't have to and assumed that being a mommy was my calling. problem solved ... sort of.

since becoming a wife/mother, I've known that "my place" isn't always going to be in the home. when we had kids, we both agreed we didn't want a daycare to raise our kids. luckily, we've always had that option, and for that I am thankful. Sam is almost 6 ... so it's been 6 years now that I've been at home. coming from a life of working 2 jobs (at one time 3), and actually enjoying it, 6 years of not working at all outside the home has been, at times, difficult.

as I was working on my Avon stuff, I had a thought the other day about going back to school to become a licensed esthetician. now I honestly think the beauty industry is so full of deception, however, there is a side that is genuine, and that is the part that intrigues me. I like how a hair style and makeup is a way to express yourself, how clear skin boosts your self confidence, and the feeling your whole body can get from a single massage.

the school I want to attend is downtown and only take 7 months, but that's an hour drive each way and they require full time hours ... neither I can do right now. it was a big bummer. I don't think a door has ever closed so fast on me before.

ok God, I hear you.

and the waiting game continues ...