thinking of who I was years ago, I could not of have had a clue where my life would end up. I never had anything planned. I always knew I'd get married, but never had a certain prince charming in mind. I thought for sure I'd be a working woman, but didn't know where. I knew I'd have kids one day, but didn't think about how many or if they'd be boys are girls. I just knew life would happen, and work itself out somehow.
reading that you'd probably think I'm a very go-with-the-flow type person. naturally, I'm really not. I'm definitely a creature of habit. Change usually rubs me the wrong way. When I/we go out, I like to know where I'm going a plan a bit instead of driving around aimlessly. I have my moments, but I am not usually spontaneous. I'm conservative. I dislike surprises. I'm much more of a by-the-book type. honestly, I would consider myself somewhat boring. so think of the exact opposite of all that, and you have my husband!
as life would have it, I married an extrovert while I am a stay-at-home mom with 2 boys. I would never have pictured myself in these shoes. funny how God works things out, isn't it?
I have married a man who would rather try and fail than to wonder "what if" the rest of his life. for the first half of our marriage I hated him for that; so willing to drag me along on another escapade no matter the outcome. now I applaud him for embracing change, for wanting a better life, a life that will really give him and his family purpose. he is not your 9 to 5 kind of guy; he is an entrepreneur and his mind is creative while always thinking outside the box.
I've struggled for many years on what my purpose is here in this life. still kind of do. but I'm realizing that because I haven't ever been REALLY passionate for something, that I could adapt to almost anything. and with the multiple moves we've made, along with the various job opportunities hubby has had, change has become apart of my life.
I always wished I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. some people do, and I envy that. some people have beautiful, natural, God-given gifts and it's ridiculously apparent what they should do with their lives; that I envy even more. but this isn't me.
not totally sure where all this is coming from. just some self-discovery venting here, you don't mind, right? there must be change on the horizon ... or I'm jinxing myself. either way, change is inevitable. bring it.
No comments:
Post a Comment