since before moving in, my boys have wanted a pet.  we've had dogs in the past, and once we had a bird, but long story short, we've been pet-less for some time now.
I'm still convinced a dog is just like having another kid, so no thank you on that.  plus, I can't have *real* pets in this apartment anyway.

I've been wanting to get the boys a hamster.  I had one as a kid, and loved it ... *cough* until it bit me *cough* ...  I love the tunnels you can set up for them, and especially the ball they can roll around on the floor in.  they're not too big to be a *real* pet ... shhhhhhhh, don't tell, ok?

my other not *real* pet I said we could get is a beta fish.  I have a tall glass vase and some blue/green glass pebble thingys already, so all we needed was the fish and some food.  easy.
so it took the boys forever to pick one out.  they were all SO COOL to them.  they would have bought them all if they could ... Sam knows that you can only have one, otherwise they will fight till the death, so of course he wanted to buy them all and begin the beta-WWI.

we finally decide on one; he's blue with some red on those pretty fins.  Sam wanted to name him "Big Fins."  he's so funny.  I liked it, but told him we ought to wait a day or two to officially decide.

so we get home and I fill the vase with water and add him in his jar to acclimate to the temperature before just dumping in.  after a few minutes, in his goes.  
well, I had added a bit too much water.  it was a balancing act; the water was right at the top.  and since beta's are not so excitable fish and like to sit and do next to nothing, I tip the vase ever so slightly to get rid of some of that extra water, and wouldn'tcha know it?!  that fish was right at the top and went flying down the water slide into the kitchen sink.

where the garbage disposal is.


I screamed.  and the boys come running.
"Mom, what did you do?!"

as much as it gives me the heebie-geebies, I knew I had to reach in there and try to get him out.  I HAD TO ... especially after the traumatizing cat incident.  there was no way we could go through another pet death, in any fashion!

so I'm digging in there.  and its gross.  and have you seen Final Destination?  yea, I'm thinking of that.  and suddenly I feel the fish, and he jumps in there, and he's slimy, and I scream, and I could not grasp him, and so I have to feel around some more since I KNOW he's close and still alive.

minutes and minutes and minutes go by.  I thought he was a goner.  I thought I'd have to put him out of his misery and flip that garbage disposal switch. the boys were crying and my heart is breaking for them - sorry fish, I felt bad for my kids, not you.

Sam gets control of himself and I ask him to stick his hand in there since its smaller and sure enough, he got out that little fish in about 30 seconds.  I cannot believe he was alive!

stupid fish.  what were you thinking?!

so back in the vase he goes.  swimming just fine.  he hasn't eaten much today yet, so maybe he's still a bit freaked out, but alive none-the-less.

"Sam, I think we should name him LUCKY"
"good idea Mom!"

meet Lucky -

head and heart

I have to unload in a list; its seems this is how my brain will catch up with my heart ....
  • I was blessed by sofas tonight.  yes used, but who cares?!  they were delivered, but more importantly, free.  my place is instantly more home-y.
  • I am unintentionally developing a cleaning business on the side.  didn't see that coming because I don't really enjoy cleaning.  apparently everyone else hates it too, which is why they want someone else to do it.  whatever, its money.  come to think of it, Renew the View works for cleaning too, doesn't it?  oooooo, I think I like where this could go.
  • but really, I NEED a real, steady, consistent job.  I wish I could go on like this until what I WANT to do happens, but that is fantasy.  I think I'm feeling guilty; I hate to be a mooch on anyone.
  • this year is 1/2 over already ... not sure I've accomplished 1 of my resolutions.  boo on me.
  • since I'm now broke, I have kept my same razor for awhile ... 2 thumbs up for Venus!  makes me think I could have kept other refills for a lot longer, because those suckers are expensive!  and btw, I'm totally converting to using a shampoo or conditioner to shave with over any shaving creme.  have you ever tried it?  you should.
  • I have lost inspiration to pick up my camera anymore.  I hate to have lost this motivation, because I know that I don't take totally crappy photos ... no offensive ... but I can't seem to get IT back; whatever IT is.  why, why, why?
  • not sure how I found the time, but I read a book ... in a matter of a few days.  soooooo not like me.  guess I found out something new about me.  it was a story about a female cabbie in England who [tries to] handle 5 lovers.  its not a detailed romance novel with a Fabio cover, but a love story none-the-less.  it could have easily been made into a movie.   I'm so not interested in having that life, yet I loved to read about it.  what does that mean?!
  • I am really happy getting reconnected with people I had relationships with when I lived here a few years ago.  they don't like to hear of my circumstances, but still, I feel they still have their arms open for me.   thank you friends.
  • Sam just had a night terror ... its been 3 months since his last one.  not sure what was different about today.  those are just plain not fun.
  • my to-do list is still so long.  I was seeing progress, but the list is added to and added to and has become a million miles long again.  I wish I could live on 2 hours of sleep for awhile ... but that still might not be enough.  sigh.

  • someone say a prayer for me.   thank you.

wiener, winner ... same thing

I was notified awhile ago but it seems I had to wait for it to come in the mail to believe it ... I won a blog giveaway!  whoo hoo!

$100 gift card to Dicks ... which we don't have here in my NorCal town.  the closest one is 2+ hours away.  but who cares?!  I won!

can't remember why I entered ... blogs that do giveaways want you to enter a bazillion times - follow me here, like me there, comment 500 times for 600 entries ... I can't keep up.  in fact, I've quit.  its just not fun anymore.

BUT ...
you can't win if you don't play!!  that I am thoroughly convinced of.
and ... I won!!  I won!!

thanks to VodkaMom!!!
which by the way, I love this blog.
you are a great writer.  I enjoy your sense of humor.  and I like that you reveal some of the real you on your blog.

(my 2 cents for bloggers ... all business is no fun.  if that's all you do, you must be a robot.  and boo to that.)

Aloha Friday

so I may not be living in Hawaii anymore
but I will keep as much aloha with me as I can.

Over at An Island Life, Kailani keeps it simple.
we all need more simplicity, right?!

Go visit and join the bloggy fun!

My question for you ...
Have you ever been to Hawaii?
tell me what you did there
what was your favorite thing about your trip?

for me - 
my favorite thing of the islands is that blue blue blue water.
I'd always seen the pictures, but for whatever reason, I thought it was doctored.
nope, the water REALLY looks like that.
blue is my favorite color, so it REALLY took my breath away!

Enjoy your weekend!

un-potty training

... kind of like an un-schooling approach.

looking back, I think I did it all wrong with my first son.  I tried candy, but I think that just officially turned on his sweet tooth.  I tried a sticker chart, and he was nothing but destructive with it; peeling all the stickers off to put everywhere and anywhere else but back on the chart. I then tried pull-ups, thinking the [almost] big-boy-like undies would encourage him to do it the "right" and "normal" way, but it turns out the pull-ups were introduced too early and he just didn't get it.  when he got a tad older I tried again, but because my timing was off from the get-go, it screwed it all up.


today, Sam wears night time pull ups to bed.  that kid sleeps like a brick.
I tried to wake him before I go to bed for a potty trip, but for awhile, waking him triggered night-terrors by messing up his REM sleep cycle ... so that was out.  if you have seen your child have a night-terror then you KNOW its just not worth it.

now its Elliott's turn.  I have not pressured him AT ALL about using the potty.  

it makes me think of my pre-kid days when hubby and I had dogs instead.  it was a big decision to get a 2nd dog, because before real, human kids, these are your kids.  turns out getting a puppy after already having a trained dog was the easiest thing ever; the baby copied his "big brother" with everything.  and so, his potty training wasn't even a chore.
I've been secretly hoping this would be the case with Elliott.  he is so in love with his brother and copies everything, just about.  these last couple of weeks he's been doing really good.  I've even taken him out to the store with undies on ... yes, its a big deal.  

of course there are accidents; we're still in the "be sure to bring extra everything" stage, but that's ok.  my officially/unofficial un-potty training is working out wonderfully.  its one of those things that every child gets ... eventually.  so why fight it?

do you have potty training secrets?  I'd love to hear them ... comment away.

Thankful Thursday

Blessed are those that can give without remembering and receive without forgetting.
Author Unknown

My top 10 for this week ...

  1. I <3 fireworks.  I look forward to it every year, and now that I have kids, I know that these are the times they will remember as adults ... because I do.
  2. I have a friend coming to visit ... the true-blue, soul-mate kind of friend.
  3. I am scoring BIG on craigslist freebies!
  4. Understanding parents.
  5. I chose a complex that has a swimming pool over one that has washer/dryer in the apartment.  NorCal summers are HOT!
  6. People who are flexible ... I used to HATE having to be flexible.  I was forced to be for years, but I'm realizing that you can live without it.
  7. Filtered water!  I've been drinking the tap water ... can't say I've missed that at all.
  8. Surprise packages on my doorstep.  Thanks mom!
  9. Having non-super-picky eating children ... I've heard the stories!  I've had to put together some interesting concoctions this week, and I didn't get any complaints.
  10. Getting a new dishwasher on Friday.  whoo hoo!
What are you thankful for?


say you are cat-sitting for a friend who is out of town for 3 short days ... what would you say the absolute worst thing could happen is?

yep, that happened to me.  the cat is now dead.

this may be news to some BUT cats do not have 9 lives.
at least a 2 month old kitten doesn't.
so little.  and so cute.  and so innocent.  and was in the wrong place at the wrong mili-second.

I am ... [indirectly] ... a cat killer.

my 2 kids were with me, because they looooooooove animals.  they have met this kitten before, with me and the owner present, and have been taught how to handle it, take turns with it, etc.  if they didn't have that "practice time" with the adults present, they are definitely the type of kids to love it too much ... and kill it that way instead.

they were playing with the kitten and someone *cough my 3 year old Elliott, cough* knocked into a tall speaker.  this speaker was not actually attached to anything, which is why it toppled easily.  the poor kitten was playing too and was more worried about where the boys were than anything, and just didn't see the speaker coming down on him.  compared to that kitten, the speaker was about 100x the size and it just crushed him.  literally.

I will spare you the details ... but once he lost control of his bladder/bowels, I knew the end was near.  he was alive when we got to the ER clinic, but it took just 2 seconds of the vets time to know it was best to put him to sleep.  the speaker had crushed his head.

it was an accident.  a freak accident.
but still ...

the kids saw the whole thing (obviously) and they both cried themselves to sleep that night.  me too for that matter.

what a week.