off the mountain

on the move, yet again. this time, I'm ok with it.

I like this picture. it's kinda like us as we move our home to wherever we can carry it, only this time, we're selling everything and don't have even a shack full of stuff anymore.

it's kind of liberating. kind of scary too.

we are officially out of our mountain home. it sure is a beautiful place with a BEAUTIFUL view, but I will appreciate this mountain life more from the pictures on my calendar. it's nice, but not for us.

for now we are staying with friends, having Sam continue another month at school, as we have a garage sale every weekend to sell the remainder of our stuff. come May 1st, give or take a few days, we're going to Hawaii!!

for me/us, Hawaii is one of those things we'd always wonder "what if" if we didn't go. it's an adventure, and I wouldn't want to do it with anyone else other than my family. if I were still single, I'd probably still be struggling in CA to pay my bills, because honestly, I wouldn't know any different.
Hawaii will either be the best decision we've ever made, or the very worst one. either way, we will grow and change because of it.

sadly we will be losing the newest member of our family, Sarge. there is a loooooong story that goes along with that, so to make it short and sweet, he will be returning to his previous family.
our situation is changing somewhat unexpectedly to where it will be difficult to keep him, and "coincidentally," their situation has drastically changed unexpectedly and having Sarge back would help them; they have missed him terribly. Sam is happy to have the dog go back to his first family, knowing that they need him back. it could not have worked out better for everyone!

around the world, literally

you love to travel?
you enjoy working and/or volunteering?
like meeting new people?
do you know other languages? or want to learn?

in college, I loved the idea of all the internships that were offered. to go wherever and live in another culture, but you had to make it a part of your major somehow, and usually you could.
coming to this point in my college career where I could begin to take the necessary steps to do this, Matt and I were surprised with becoming pregnant, which pretty much burst that bubble. God had a different adventure in mind for us. :)

so what I found is similar to what colleges do, but for anyone willing. all you have to pay for is getting there, then you work for your room and board. they say 5 hours of work a day will pay for your room and board for the day.
there are ALL kinds of work available; there is babysitting, housework, ranching/farming, special projects ... all kinds of stuff. AND this is worldwide!! check it out!

I saw this and instantly thought how cool to do this for a vacation instead of paying a bazillion dollars at Disneyland or wherever ... and I say that probably because I've been to Disneyland a hundred times, but what I mean going somewhere touristy. in my opinion, what a great way to show the world to your family, give back, learn & live in other cultures, and have experiences you'd never forget. right?!
it says there is no age minimum or maximum, but it does want you to register as an individual or as a team of 2, friends or husband & wife.
not that I really thought Elliott would get much work done! but definitely when my boys are older and can do some actual work, I will be signing us up. I'm already excited!


I have realized my 2 biggest pet peeves has to do with water -

1. I HATE stepping in a something wet while wearing my socks. it completely ruins the softness, dryness, and coziness of my socks. I immediately feel chills; it makes me instantly cold and I have to go find a new pair of socks.

2. I HATE getting out of the shower to find the only towel within arms reach is already damp from whoever showered before me. the first part of me I dry off is my face, and sticking my face in someone elses' dampness totally grosses me out. I am forced to run out dripping to wherever the dry towels are.

or are these more OCD?

I also have some kind of skin condition on my hands/fingers that with too much water, I will peel. too little water ( like at 9,000 feet) I will crack. I constantly use lotion to maintain it best I can, but there is no magical lotion for me that works. ya know how every woman has a part of their bodies they would change? well, mine is definitely my hands.

my birthday is in February and I am an Aquarius, which is the water bearer. I don't really know what that means and/or if is actually has anything to do with this, but I still thought it's sort of a strange coincidence.

now I don't totally believe in astrology, my horoscope is 9 times out of 10 wrong. it's a bunch of fluff to me. I believe God created us all different, but some of us are similar in some areas and then very different in others. to me, people's personalities should not and can not possibly be grouped together just because you were born in the same month. I am also amazed at how some people really do hang on every word of their horoscope, but I digress ...

I do love the water, the ocean in particular. growing up in the mid west, then moving out to CA to find this big beautiful ocean, was pretty awesome and I just can't get enough now. as I stand there looking at it, I can't help think of the days of creation and just how amazing God is. I stand there feel so small ... in a good, humbling way. it strikes my wonder and curiosity. I think about all the life within the water, and I think about all the death - wars, Titanic, pirates, murder, suicide - is that a bit twisted? cycle a life, I guess. overall, a BIG plus on the pro list of moving to Hawaii!

I like the sound rivers make. I love rainy days - I remember going outside after the rain to find worms to play with; it has a distinct smell. I love to keep a pitcher of water with orange slices in it. I love hot tubs. and I have some healthy fears of it too - drowning would not be so good, and I'm also amazed at it's sheer power. tsunamis, floods, waterfalls - think Niagara Falls ; the force that comes with it is scary ... and it make me think of Jesus calming the waves while everyone else was freakin' out, because only God could/can stop a force like that.

what do you think of water? how does it effect you?
strange question? yea, sort of.

my Samuel

Samuel is an amazing boy. his 5 short years on this Earth have transformed my life completely. it's awesome having him in my life.

he is officially a kid now. since school has began this last fall, he's constantly having new concepts and ideas, having his own thoughts and awareness, as he's becoming more independent of me. more bittersweetness.

I have read more than once, that more or less, kids form their adult personalities by the time they're 8 years old, like their sense of humor, emotional reactions, creativity, etc. have you heard that?

anyway, at 5 he is awesome. he's definitely a funny guy; we like watching AFV, he tells jokes, and just has that 5 year old silliness!

he always talks about his "light" shining - going to a christian school, it's great having that much more emphasis of God in every aspect of life, and not just from me, but other adults we know, love, and trust to be in his life. their latest lesson at school is about loving each other and all the different ways you can have your light shine. he'll do something sweet for Elliott and say to me, "mom, my light was shining!" adorable, right?!

he's smart; it's amazing how much he really is like a sponge! he can read, write, count past 100, knows ABC's in Spanish; it's truly awesome to witness - a new mind expanding.

he is insistent on prayer; I love how aware he is of what it is and when to do it. as parents, we tend to always want better for our kids than whatever it was we had or didn't have, and I often think about how he has a Godly foundation now and not when he's in his later 20's, like me. although I'm thankful for being where I'm at, I wonder how different it could've been for me if my parents were believers too.

he likes himself and is happy with everything - he's definitely a glass 1/2 full person, most kids probably are though. no fear, no responsibilities, that child-like faith ... ah, to be a kid again.

and of course, we have our bad days too, but hey, he's 5 right?!

here's a couple interesting things from just today -
this afternoon: I caught Sam coloring "his goods" today. he was a bit shocked I found him doing that and I could tell sort of embarassed, so I tried not to make a huge deal out of it. after all, he was using washable markers. hahaha! but he's colored his hands, arms, and legs before ... so should his penis really be different? not sure about that one.

tonight: we have a friend over, and he brought his almost 3 year old son too. when I told Sam we were having a slumber party tonight, he says "a slumber party means you put up balloons and take your shirt off!" hahahaha! I knew what he meant about balloons, because it's kinda like a party, but the taking your shirt off part, not sure where that one came from!

kids are so funny!

recoginizing God

first let me say, I just don't believe in coincidence or luck anymore. there are things that are, or work out to be, just too perfect. I cannot give credit to chance any longer. there is a plan people ... and I'm pretty positive that God is behind it!

* we found a family to sublet our house after 36 hours of posting it on craigslist. not only did they fill out the application and send it in, they were approved and paid 6 months in advance. they also bought a lot of our stuff - our king size bed with the linens, our 3 piece leather sofa set, metal shelving for the garage, a set of barstools, and currently debating on purchasing our washer & dryer. that much less we have to move!

* everything is for sale, and I've been posting the good stuff also on craigslist, and it's selling! normally it wouldn't be a big deal, but we live in Divide, which is a small blink-and-you-miss-it type place and people are driving an hour, sometimes more, to come buy our stuff. now that is just not typical.

* having enough money to move anywhere and put at least a down payment on a piece of land. probably 1-3 acres, but that's all we need for what we want to do.

* after swallowing steak bones, and who knows how many, our dog is alive and well.

* although my family is not thrilled at our moving decision, I know that God will bring peace to them about it, eventually. it's been stressful. I sort of feel like I was put in a corner with their unwillingness about it all, but it's good that I am having to explain how and why we live the way we do, with our focus on God and what He has for us. it may have drawn a line in the sand, but I know what side I'm on, God's. and that feels good.

* I have today

St Patty's Day

I don't exactly "celebrate" St Patty's Day. I do remember eating corned beef and cabbage at home as a kid, then getting older is all about green beer, and now, it's just another day. funny how that works.

I never knew the origin or cared for that matter, but yesterday a facebook friend posted a little history about St. Patrick that I never knew, and now being a christian, I can appreciate St Patty's Day a little bit more ... but not really. Just knowing that tons of people are drinking to celebrate this guy is kinda funny ... of course they don't know what he did, but still.

why is green beer so good? the answer: it's not! how stupid is it to put some dye in alcohol and create another reason to drink?! Just because it's a Friday and/or Saturday night was always enough of a reason, but then, this night is EXTRA special because it's green?! stupid ... it's all I can say.

She said: St. Patrick was kidnapped by Irish raiders when he was 16 years old and was forced to be a slave. God told him in a dream to flee from Captivity to the coast and board a ship back to Britain. He studied to be a priest. Then went back to irland and shared the Gospel 'til he died March17th, 461A.D. He used the shamrock to help explain the trinity. Isn't that cool?

very cool indeed. here's more, if you're interested.

so my question - how do you explain a trinity with a 4-leaf clover? I'll have to ask ... but if you find it first, let me know.


In the midst of change, I get attacked by my family. no one approves.
my christian family has nothing but encouraging, supportive words.
hhmmmm, coincidence? I think not.

before I was a believer, I too hated change. I was somehow taught that change = bad. you're out of your comfort zone, not fully knowing what will happen and when, less in control, and left with worry or anxiety about it.

here I am, 10 years in my walk now, and I have a comfort and peace that can only come from God. I still dislike change, but I've come to realize the value of change. and it really is valuable.

how can you grow without getting up from that comfort zone? the answer - you can't.
can you ever really have total control? the answer - not ever possible
why worry about tomorrow when it's not even here yet? the answer - just don't

when do you stop changing? is there a certain, special age that we mentally stop? now, I'm thinking of a person, such as myself, one that didn't grow up with God and without [most] of His teachings. what happened to me? somewhere along the way, I stopped learning and growing. as a child, I don't think you know you're growing spiritually, even though you are. now for my boys, having 2 believing parents, they may not know right this second, but as the years continue and they take in our wisdom [along with God's, of course] they have the foundation from the start; it's the format to never stop growing, never stop changing, and being able to look back and recognize it for what it really is. as an adult, I can see where God was in some areas of my life, but my foundation was in 2 non-believers, which ultimately skewed God's perspective in my life. it simply wasn't there.

so as far as Hawaii goes, we're in. the finances and the details are still being worked out, but as of now, we are going to go for it. and like I said, no one likes that we're doing this.

I wrote an email to my mother explaining our situation [again]. this time I think I got out what I wanted to say, with the right words. I lack the right ones more often than not, so mom, I'm glad you like this response ... and I hope you don't mind me sharing it. for any friends & family reading, I hope this helps you too. here it is:

In a way we are nomads, because we are still searching for the right place to call home. It’s one of those things you know when you get there. In another way, we are missionaries. As a christian, you do have a ministry and it goes wherever you do. But what if we were? With a church, traveling around the world? And yes kids would come too. I don’t think you’d be happy with that either.

My needs are met. My desires have been not met at times, but we are not in that place anymore. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that. Our marriage is healed, it’s been made whole again. We communicate, we trust each other, and we make decisions together.
God is our stability, and that is what we are teaching our boys. Where we live, how we get money is circumstancial. There is a bigger picture, and it’s so much bigger mom!! Think about it, what REALLY matters in life? For us, it’s God and each other, and what a bonus, we could live in paradise too.

So let me explain -
We have been talking and wanting to live greener, as in sustainable farming. Grow most of our food and get off “the system.” yes you could do that anywhere, but after visiting Hawaii we thought, wow everything will grow here and very easily too. In Colorado, it would take more effort. We would need more time for education, more money for greenhouses, even with a greenhouse there is still an off season to growing. In Hawaii, you start now and it never ends. No extra heating for the chickens. The cost of living out there is not extreme. Lots of agricultural land is available and not ridiculously expensive. So why not???? That’s the beauty of homeshool, the greatness of having flexibility, and the security in God to take care of us.

I appreciate you looking out for my best interests, that’s what a good parent does. However, you don’t see the world the same way I do. Until the day I die, or you die, I will continue to try and show you how God works. :)

Saturday randomness

- I do not like hazelnut creamer
- I 90% sure I'd love it in Hawaii ... we have't officially decided yet
- I wish I could have as much fun with a cardboard box as Elliott does
- I was up for the sunrise today. doing it because you want to is much different than doing it because your crying baby needs to eat and you're sleep deprived already ... boy, those days were tough for me
- I love how the Holy Spirit works
- someone made a comment that was meant to insult me the other day, but it honestly is a compliment. how often does that happen?!
- blue really is my favorite color; what's yours?
- it's great to have friends, even if it is just a few. and it's also great to have people in your life to where whenever you talked last, it's like it was yesterday, and you pick up right where you left off. I experienced both just yesterday.
- I am happy to say that I'm doing great at letting tomorrow worry about itself; worry has always been a struggle for me. not entirely sure what happened ... see #6
- it always feels good to de-junk, you never really need 1/2 the stuff you have
- yay, it's Saturday and we're having a bbq