oh, Vicki

today's lesson is about standing up for yourself.

as you may or may not know, I love to save a buck. I enjoy thrift stores, finding (& actually using) coupons, reduce, reuse, recycle, etc. I am also not the type of girl to get her hair done every 2-4 weeks and keep my nails polished, but for those days that I want to pamper myself, I had found a great, cheaper alternative - use a beauty school.
beauty schools are cheaper (because they're students), do everything by the book (because they're students), but also takes twice as long (because they're students). when they are done with whatever service they're providing, there is a teacher to make sure everything went smoothly and you're satisfied with your service.

so I met Vicki. she was an older student, in her sixties. she came back to school so she could work out of her home I applaud Vicki; she is disabled (can't walk very well) but being proactive about her situation. an old dog, but willing to learn new tricks. :)
turns out, Vicki was new to the floor (working with actual people) only providing services for a month. so I got the rookie.
obviously I knew it was a school, it's a learning environment, and that there will be students not quite as good as others. that's fine. however ... well, here's what happened ...

* after she dropped her nail clippers, instead of getting new ones, she used a cuticle cutter. do you know what that is? DO NOT CUT YOUR NAILS WITH IT. I said ouch a few times.
* she totally skipped the massage part :(
* I had requested a french pedicure. I've never had one of those, and apparently, Vicki has never given one. she winged it best she could, but it was awful! I don't even know the words to describe it. being in her later sixties, she was a little shaky, so the white line just looked like a white out mess.

in the end, one foot was passable, the other, butchered.

I told the instructor that she gave good service, and in a way she was. she was friendly, we chatted, she did what I asked ... she just really sucked at it and I didn't bother to mention that part. it was partly because she was standing right there. I just totally chickened out.

before I left the school, that conviction of not standing up for myself was strong, so I asked if there was a comment card or something I could fill out. they gave me a notebook and a pen, but hey, at least it was something. I hope it made a difference somewhere.

Vicki, I'm sorry for doing you a disservice by keeping my mouth shut.
to everyone else, don't pretend the truth isn't obvious. tell the Vicki's in your life how it really is!

simplicity

I hate it when my revelations are so simple, don't you? don't get me wrong, I am very thankful for it, but I sometimes feel like "why didn't I think of that?!"
humans are far from perfect, me specifically.

I just came back from a long walk. no music. no babies. just me and my thoughts.

so we're moving again (as you know) and I'm wondering why we have this pattern of moving. I don't think I have final clarity on that, but I did get it on part of it. the answer - people.

my husband is a people person, definitely an extrovert, and has finally accepted it as a gift with the intent to use it righteously. me on the other hand I am an introvert, which I realize is not bad, I just have a different approach to people. the boys so far are following their father's footsteps on that one, which I love to see.

I used to think that I wanted/needed to stop all this crazy moving and get settled, grow some roots, and get connected with people. I did get connected with mom's clubs and church groups, but when we had to move, I was disappointed and hurt that I had to [sort of] give up these relationships. you can only do so much over facebook. :) after this loss I didn't rejoin anything in the next town, and so when we moved again, I was glad I didn't have to go through that heartache all over again. I kind of saved myself from it.

I brought myself to a place where I saw people everywhere I went and they became sort of faceless. its easy to generalize people, and that's what I did. I saw them as a group, all the same, not needing, or necessarily wanting to get to know any of them. I thought, why bother?

but what I realized that know matter where we go there will be people (obviously!) and they all need/want a source of light. why do I forget that I am a source of light?!

we are a source, to someone, for something specific. no matter where we go, our light will not be dimmed. we need to see each person, for each person. we ought to see them the way God created them, as individuals; unique, gifted, and as His children, to be loved.
my idea of connecting with people is different than what God just taught me. I thought "connecting" was having life-long relationships, to know their hearts desire, to know their families, to talk about their perspective on God, etc. if/when a spiritual connection presents itself between two people, words and time are almost not necessary.

in my opinion, being a christian means to be thankful for each day, each second even. to appreciate what's been given to you (even the things not necessarily given to you) and take advantage of those situations God has you in. circumstances change, and I believe with good reason from above.

Matt and I have talked extensively about how and why this is happening for our children. always trying to keep the glass 1/2 full, we thought maybe this is conditioning them for mission work later on in life. Matt and I had always talked about getting involved with that, and maybe we still will later on, but I know that following generations take things a step further than the originals ever did. God only knows! it's just a thought.

it doesn't matter where we go, we can make a difference. it isn't necessary to stay in one spot to get connected to people. I think I just got a step closer to something.

for the ladies

This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editors' choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.

Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from 'the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills.' Isn't the human body amazing?
As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customer's monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the viole nt urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!
The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'
Are you f------ kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness, is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep.
Always. . .
Wendi Aarons
Austin , T X

my today

during Elliott's naptime, I took big brother Sam out. just the two of us. it was fun.
I want to make sure that he isn't always grouped with the things his brother needs to do, because simply, he's isn't a baby anymore.
we walked to the dollar store and bought a few things, but Sam picked out a parachute diver ... know what that is? it's a boy toy. :)
he also picked out a balloon for his kindergarten teacher for her birthday tomorrow. instead of getting one that says Happy Birthday, he chose a star with America's stars and stripes on it. he insisted.
then we also went to one of my favorite places for lunch, Chipotle.

he's turning into a pretty cool kid. he's got quite the imagination. we played I-Spy the whole time.

what a GREAT way to spend my 2 hours of free time. I love that kid!

pondering

how long does it take to get to know someone?
why are meteorologists always wrong?
everyone has baggage. right?
can you believe there are still racist people out there? my husband met one the other day. ew.
can you really teach an old dog new tricks?
why do kids only want what they can't have? then once they have it, 2 seconds later, they don't care anymore. really?!
do you know you can buy scented bubbles? not bubblebath; the kind you blow. I smelled nothing. its a scam.
pitbulls - is it the dog? or the owner?
why is the sky blue? just kidding, I know this one.
if your house was on fire, what would you grab? assuming your family is safe.
did you marry your opposite, like me?
why do you think we dream?
if you won the lottery, what would you do with the money?
are you the person you wanted to be when you grew up?
3 days until taxes are due. have you done yours yet?

timing

do you have those times when you KNOW you're in the right place at the right time? or even, the wrong place at the wrong time?

that's God.

irony. coincidence. luck.
no such thing.

it's God.

there are no accidents. nothing is by chance. there are no lucky numbers.

there is only a plan. God's plan.
and it happens whether you want it to or not.

sorry, but you're out of control. completely.
isn't that awesome?!

I find comfort in that. do you?
it's my encouragement for the day.

cluttered

my brain is full and I'm emotionally drained. I guess it's just a part of my process.

I can't seem to blog about anything when stuff is going on ... this is my attempt to try. I tend to use this blog to update on things once my process is done, but in the meantime, I can't seem to put any words together the right way to make any sense ... if even that makes sense.

moving, yes.
MAJOR garage sale, yes, last weekend and this upcoming one.
lots of change, yes.
more change to come, yes.

kids are doing well with it so far. they are sleeping well, eating normally, and are healthy; don't think I can ask for more there.
I'm hanging in there, like I said, I'm full. and not even in a totally negative way. it's just a lot to fully take in.
Matt could care less ... and for the record, I mean this kind of change doesn't effect him like it does me, not that he doesn't care about me.

I guess this is just a post to say I'm alive and well. prayers appreciated. :)