I have lived here just a couple of weeks, but it feels like longer. I mean that in a good way. I love it here. this house feels like home already, and usually for me, that takes awhile to get. I pray God will keep us here for a long time ... I have learned to never say never, but also, never say forever. only God is forever; can I get an amen?!

since my camera is broken, I thought I'd google Divide, CO. here is what I got -

yep, this is exactly what it looks like. in fact, this looks identical to the road you have to take to get to my house. the clouds aren't usually so dark, maybe this winter as the storms are coming. but here in CO the clouds are always beautiful. if you are a cloud person, you would love it. I have discovered that about myself; I am always noticing the clouds. leaves me speechless most of the time.
that is Pikes Peak in the background, which is at 14,000 feet. our house is at 9,200 feet, so you want snow, come visit us! we are planning on lots of snowmen, ice skating (there is a pond behind our house!), shoveling, and sledding. of course if you come, you might get snowed in for a few days!
in and out of these woods are lots of elk. I've seen the females up close and they are huge. I'd say 3x the size of a doe. I've seen a buck from afar, and you can definitely tell, he's even bigger. it's truly amazing. I actually found an elk watching trip, it's 2 1/2 hours walking all around the picture above. I expect it to be pretty awesome!

feels good turning into a mountain girl. I promise to shower daily and still shave my legs!!

I am not my own

more and more I am being shown that I am not my own. we are taught by the world to have, take, or keep control of our lives, but really, God has control. total control. to me, that's comforting. scary at times, but ultimately, it's comforting.

change of subject, but I'll bring it all back together ...

moving to CO I had to chop my hair. the elevation totally flattened it and I didn't know what to do with it. honestly, I don't care about my hair. sometimes I try to be a girly girl, but it's fake and it lasts only a short time. it's just not in me to care or get excited about it.

with these 2 thoughts running around in my head, I finally got to put them together with a 3rd thought ...

for whatever reason, my heart aches for people affected by cancer. it's a disease that comes no matter what you do to avoid it. a disease with no sure cure available. people of all ages gets it. no one knows why or how.

I really don't have too much experience with cancer. I don't know my family tree that far back, but of the ones I know, there are a couple that have died from cancer. but their deaths came from their lifestyle of smoking; in my opinion, their own stupidity. but from what I remember, I don't think they had to go through chemo and loose their hair. the cancer was either too far gone or came on too fast.
I also got involved with a mom's club a couple years ago, and I became the community outreach contact for the group. I'd set up park clean-up days, get us in the local parades, and one year, got us involved with the Relay for Life, which is a huge event to raise money for cancer awareness and research. I was so happy to help and so heartbroken at the candlelight vigil held that night.

all that put together equal this ...

seeing and understanding that I am not my own, and I don't really care about my hair, and I somehow want to help ease the pain of cancer, I've decided to get involved with Pantene and their Beautiful Lengths program. I don't particularly like Pantene products, their too heavy for me, but they have this great program with the American Cancer Society.

so hair donation has been added to my bucket list. :)
wish me luck to grow my hair that long!! should be interesting. I haven't had long hair since high school I think.

Here are some other programs to get involved with if you're interested too.


as much as I dislike CA, here is something else I've learned from my trip.

one day I took the boys to the lake. going to the ocean is a lot of work! plus it's huge with tons of people ... I require 2 adults for that one, but the lake is doable so we spent many days there.

at most beaches you will see the "swim area" roped off, which is the area that the lifeguard watches. moms with kids, especially multiple kids, feel better having another set of eyeballs on their kids, making sure no one is drowning. cheers to lifeguards!

one day we went, we were early and could choose any spot on the beach. but since I'm the one who ends up carrying everything, I choose the first empty spot I see, which is on the edge of the roped off area.

so we're hanging out, swimming, playing in the sand, having our picnic, it was a great day. Sam was walking around and found a small school of fish. he was so excited! his excitement took him wherever the fish went ... da da dum ... outside of the roped off area. of course the lifeguard blew his whistle and told Sam he couldn't play over there.

on the one hand, I also was dealing with Elliott and was happy to have a "babysitter" with me in case Sam was in trouble. but on the other hand it really bothered me that those rules are so strict. he was in the water to his ankles, and really, is it so dangerous on that side of the rope and not the other? in my opinion, no it's not.

it's got me thinking ...
as parents, we are choosing to raising our boys with a kingdom perspective. yes the details of life are important, but in a kingdom perspective the big picture is vital. the big picture in our house is God's plan, the kingdom being the whole world, or having the potential to be.

in the scope of things, being outside the rope is so trivial. however when dealing with kids, you begin teaching the basics ... like following the rules and stay inside the rope.

I don't ever want to be hypocritical, I think that's why this is bugging me. I feel like I have to teach Sam the world's "right way" and then when he gets that, I can teach him God's right way. I know that's wrong ... typing that even feels wrong! it seems one needs to know the rules backwards and forwards, and only then are you allowed to bend them ... like knowing outside the rope is just as safe/dangerous as being on the inside.

in school he's learning about God, His rules, and how to pray. is he really spiritual yet? with all the rebellion, I'd have to say no way ... haha, of course all that is between him and God. but he's learning it in his head before learning it and living it with his heart.

I think the social norms the world has created and emphasized are starting to stand out to me. know what I'm talking about? please leave me a comment with your thoughts.

21 days

I've heard it said that it takes 21 days, or 3 weeks, to create a habit. and yes, there are some habits you WANT to create, all are not bad.

some I've tried in the past, and am trying again -

drinking more water - this has always been so difficult for me. I have a hard time drinking when I'm not thirsty. and especially now, I'm living at 6,000+ feet elevation, about to move to 9,200 feet, so I need even more than before. do you know how much you are suppose to drink? find out here. it's usually much more than you think!

taking care of my teeth - I got the bad teeth in my family. I had no cavities my whole childhood, then at 17 I had a few at once. it's been downhill ever since. I've had braces due to TMJ, oral surgery a couple times, too many cavities, no root canals or anything (which I've heard are sooooo painful!) but enough to make me dislike going to the dentist, ever.

watching what I eat - I've NEVER been good at counting calories, and my nutrition knowledge is limited ... but I'm learning. mostly, my common sense leads me on this one. that said, I still have a big weakness for sweets. sometimes it's multiple times a day that I give in. bad. bad. bad. it has to stop. yes I'm overweight for my height (really, who matches the doctors stats on that one?!) but not overweight enough to look like I REALLY need help. have you seen that commercial where the beautiful lady gets out of a limo for the red carpet, and then faints? it's for diabetes; beautiful on the outside, but on the inside she was messed up. I've been getting that image more and more lately.

becoming a morning person so I can have time with God - I have been getting up when the kids get up. when that happens, I get so swept up in what the boys are doing and getting them ready, that by the end of the day, I realize I've missed having ANY time with God at all. I feel withdrawn, thus my current conviction of self-discipline.

this a-ha came to me while in CA. I saw a mini-van that had the fruits of the spirit (Gal 5:22-23) printed on the back windshield in different fonts. Self-discipline stood out the most to me, partly because of the font it was in, but mostly because I struggle with it and God wanted me to see it. I saw that van a few times, and if you've ever been in SoCal, you know it's almost difficult to run into anyone twice there.

21 days ... maybe. this time I have conviction, which is stronger than my own willpower any day.
my verse for the day (week, month, year) is Proverbs 14:10
each heart knows its own bitterness
and no one else can share its joy

hurry up Tuesday

it's good to be back in Colorado! California is a great place to visit, but God willing, I don't ever want to live there again. I am thankful for the relationships I've gained, (especially my husband) but the hype of CA is not for me. my parents live out there, so I will be back ... someday.

it's almost fall in CO. the weather is so perfect right now. when fall really hits, wow. and especially from our new place, whew! I can't wait to see it myself. we will be surrounded by pines and aspens, with a view of a little lake and Pikes Peak. I will definitely post pictures. it will be a postcard.
our move date is by the 15th. the owners had it staged for showings, so they still have stuff to get out. I'm so anxious! each day closer to the 15th goes slower and slower. oh my goodness, will it ever get here?!

moving means -
the kids will finally stop fighting and getting into serious trouble. it's been a major headache!
we will be out of suburbia ... mostly. whoo hoo!
we can stop living out of suitcases
finally set-up our homeschooling stuff the right way
I have a major need to get organized - like nesting only I'm not pregnant

most of you know, we've moved around a lot. let's see we've been married 9 years; with all the ups and downs of our relationship, and whatever the other reasons are for moving, we done it a good 10 times now. I've got to say, this next place I believe we'll be at for awhile, God willing. hubby is setting up this business and he'll be starting his office literally out of the lower level of our home; he's already got staff and technicians, so he needs to stay put for all that. plus, this is as close to our desire as possible right now. one day we'd like to get a piece of land that has spring or well water, build a house, use solar power, grow food, etc "off the grid" as he like to say. with this house the one thing we have is the location, and that's good enough for now.

like I said, God willing!