sour lemons

It is no coincidence that stressed is desserts backwards.

today I was dragging along.
partly because of the rain ... I mean it was pouring today.
its June!  c'mon Mother Nature.
not funny.

I have kids, so I can't just hibernate and excuse myself from the rest of the world.
they are the reason to keep going.
every single day.
with watching eyes, I am encouraged to set goals and follow through with them.
as tough as it may be is.

my heart is officially broken.
I can't seem to find all the pieces.

all this will be a memory one day.
a story to tell.
a testimony for someone to get encouraged by.

its a season where my skin gets thicker.
I become more aware of myself, my kids, my whole world.

its bittersweet
right now its more on bitter.

I'm so sick of lemons ... but this might help.

and now
my kids are in bed
I'm about to have a bowl of ice cream.

the end.

You Capture - Water & Purple

I love the blooms that come from lily pads.  so pretty.
when I think of or see lily pads, I think of toads & frogs, and when I think of or see toads & frogs, I think of Prince Charming ... and this was before Princess & The Frog.

(I'm actually not a fan of that movie; watched it once and the voo-doo struck a cord with me to make our first and last time watching it.)

Can't say I'd kiss one to find out if he was my Prince Charming ... would you?
I do like Kermit though. :)

These pictures were taken at the gardens at Turtle Bay in Redding, CA.  We seemed to have the place to ourselves.  it was very peaceful & just beautiful.



Thankful Thursday

"Drink and be thankful to the host! What seems insignificant when you have it, is important when you need it."  Franz Grillparzer

  1. I had some issues getting into an apartment last month, but happy & thankful to report, we are moving into a place tomorrow.
  2. There is a swimming pool there, and boy, we will definitely be using it this summer!  a lot.
  3. Help - the physical help to move & the emotional help to stay sane.
  4. My son NOT having night terrors for 2 months now.
  5. Optimism.
  6. Painted toenails ... this week, its purple.
  7. The song "clean up, clean up ... everybody clean up!"  it seems to work for my kids :)
  8. I have not killed the African Violet I got for Mother's Day ... my thumbs are not exactly green.
  9. When actions & words come together.
  10. Dancing to The Laurie Berkner Band with my kids!  I hope that is a childhood memory they keep.
It should be easy to find 10 things to be thankful for.  From the details of life to life's bigger, seasonal lessons learned -  blog it, and join us HERE @ Curious Georgi.

... its just apart of life ...

bedtime is a usual battle of the wills in our house.  your house too?
sometimes its just 1 or 2 times of me saying "ok, so what is our bedtime rule again?"  and unanimously they say "stay in bed"  so they get it ... but do they care?  other nights its more like 10-20 times.  sigh.

last night, after the usual 1-2 time lecture, Samuel comes out crying.  I knew it wasn't his "hurt cry," it wasn't his "freak out, I'm scared cry," it was one I wasn't too familiar with.  how funny, he's 6 1/2 years old and here's new one.

he comes out to hug me tightly and says, "mom, I don't want you to ever leave me.  I don't want you to die."  my heart instantly breaks.
I do my best to reassure him that part of my purpose for being alive is to be his mommy.  "God has a plan," is what I kept telling him, and reminded him of why we are thankful every night in our prayers for THIS day.

he has asked about death before, but without much concern.  for whatever reason he has taken it one step further.
I suppose I could look at it in a good way; he's thinking, he's applying principles and following through ... sort of.  but of course we all know where that "what-if thinking" gets us ... usually unnecessary anxiety.

I can't help but think of my favorite movie - Forrest Gump - and recite those words his mother told him as she lay in bed with cancer.  "death is just apart of life.  its something we're all destined to do."
I wouldn't say I'm comfortable with death, but when I think of it as the way God designed it, it brings a little more peace.  yes it will be sad to leave my loved ones, and enter in to an unknown, BUT I do look forward to meeting my Creator.

my 2 cents -
unless there is some freak accident, I don't have the sense my time to go is anytime soon. I have been told so many stories of that 6th sense kicking in when their time is near ... to me, that 6th sense is from God and its more than just a voice inside your head.

how have you handled the "death talk" with your kids?


I love love love when kids loose both of their upper-front teeth!  well, my big boy lost 1 of them tonight. he was SO SO SO excited!

they talk sort of funny, they sluuuuuuurp noodles (and whatever) else through there, but what I love the most is all the pictures.

those big 'ol grins without teeth.  maybe it reminds me of those baby pics ...  no need to worry, it is not triggering that!  no more babies for me.  really.

and here he is ... not willing to smile "normally" ... this may be his "normal" face ... I think he will be the class clown, don't you?

what does the tooth fairy bring your kids?

Thankful Thursday

If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, "thank you," that would suffice. 
~Meister Eckhart

  1. all the car drama was taken care of the way it was.  the what sucked, but the who, where, when, & how was ideal.
  2. a dear friend who is coming out of a very low season of her life.
  3. Here Is Love cd by Brian & Jenn Johnson ... I think you can download a song for free HERE.
  4. that there are enough diapers!
  5. all my baby steps are starting to make a difference.
  6. the sunshine finally showing up ...
  7. and the flip-flops that go along with that sunshine.
  8. Highlights magazine for the kids.
  9. chocolate ice cream.
  10. the willingness of those to write me encouraging & supportive recommendation letters ... and the hopes of getting a job close to home.
what are you thankful for?
Join us HERE at Curious Georgi.

funny boy

I start the kids' bedtime routine early most nights, like 7-730pm.
They share a room together (most nights a bed too), so I do this to get them to calm down a bit, and then I can hang out with them, read, play I Spy or 20 Questions for awhile.

tonight we're laying there and I ask them "if you could be any animal, what would you be?"
Sam goes through a bunch of different ones, and then

"I want to be a black momma"
"a snake of course"
"Sam, there is no snake called a black momma"
as if I misunderstood, he says -
"no, not A black mama the person, but THE black momma the snake"
"you're crazy.  there is no black momma snake"
"yes mom.  I wanna be a black momma!"

too funny.
so after I put them in bed and went to google just to find out what he's thinking about
fyi - its a black mamba :)

a curve-setting day

my day started out with someone telling me "you don't know what you're doing.  you're walking in darkness.  you're this.  you're that.  just wait and see what is going to happen."  as you can imagine, my day did not start out well.
after that lovely conversation, I was running late.  so I got everyone dressed and ready to go on our commute (right now its 1 1/2 hrs one way).  well what do you know, my oldest has to go to the bathroom 45 or so minutes into it.  so we stop.  for me, he's not quite old enough to just run in somewhere (he's 6 1/2yrs) so I unload us all for a 10 second pee.  grrrrrrrrrrr.  I come back to the car and guess what could make my morning better ... it doesn't start.  lovely.

yesterday - literally yesterday - the battery light came on.  once I started driving it for 10 or so minutes, it went off.  I let it go forgot.  today no warning, but apparently it still wasn't happy and decided not to tell me ... well, until it died of course.
so I approach a friendly "grandpa" type in a truck, batted my eyes for him, and ask for a jump.  luckily I had cables & the spot next to my car was open.  easy peasy, started right up.  ok, this day is starting to get better.

driving again, and about 5 mintues later the car dies.  as I'm driving it!  although I have only driven about 5 minutes from where I was, I was in the middle of no where.  that's just how NorCal is in some spots.  couldn't walk anywhere.  didn't have a wireless signal for my laptop.  had the boys with me.  scratch that whole thing about the day getting better.
as I was figuring out what to do, CalTrans shows up to cut some of the overhanging trees.  as you know, it takes like 5 CalTrans guys to stand around "supervising" while 1 works, so I had lots of guys available telling me what they thought the problem was.  luckily they had a phone that worked, knew the local towing company who was also a mechanic garage, and got me hooked up.

turned out to be the alternator.  boo.  expensive.

by total surprise my day did get better ... the mechanics that took care of me, really did take care of me.  looking back on the day, its good news to me that I was able to see the positive aspect of it all and be able to receive the blessing.  if you're in darkness, you can't do that ... just sayin'.
they looked at my car right away.  order the part to show up that day AND it actually did AND came in on time!  gave my kids lollipops.  gave us directions to the park & gave us cold water to take with us.  once the part came, they installed it and I was out the door in less than an hour.
If you live in the area, I give 2 HUGE thumbs up to the crew at Phil's Towing in Corning, CA.  Earl, you are my hero.

with the drama of this morning running throughout this day + the car issues + running after my kids = I am completely exhausted, and at the same time, grateful.
for a minute (ok, an hour) I thought "is this a sign of that darkness?"  but in the end, its been a blessing.  it was so great to work with a company (a mechanic shop no less) who is so good to their customers, all  without even knowing what else I've been walking through this season.  usually these stories don't have a happy ending.  but mine does.

I said lucky a few times, but in times such as these, there is no luck to it.  *thanks for sending angels to watch over me & my kids today*

ps.  how old is old enough to run in a pee somewhere?

Meet Me on Monday

let's get to know each other blog-land.
Answer the following questions on your blog, and link up

Every week there will be 4 new questions.
Join us.

1.  What is was the last piece of candy that you ate?


2.  Do you "read" in the bathroom?


3.  I can't stand when someone _________?

is late!

4.  Do you do daily, weekly or monthly grocery shopping?

usually I'll go weekly, but if I get unorganized, it's a daily thing.

almost pointless

so I got my invite to Pinterest and have been poking around the last couple of days ... its a great way to look at the creative ideas of others all in one spot!

but is that the point?  I'm not sure.

for me, being into design, I love it.  I have gotten some great ideas from here that I'd like to actually do one day.  people are so darn clever!

my favorite so far is a small dresser with 5 drawers, and each drawer is painted a different color.  ok, so that's not so new ... BUT ... what they did do was use 5 colors from the same paint-chip card, so its more of a gradual fade.  you could use any hue for this technique and it would totally work.
I couldn't post the pic (operator error, I'm sure!) but here is the LINK.  cute cute cute!

it seems you either have to be a design fan of some kind or a major crafter, otherwise, you'd probably hate this site.  while looking around I got to thinking about the point of it all, and really, its almost pointless.

but only almost. 

Thankful Thursday

I've been following Candra @ Curious Georgi for awhile now, and am finally inspired enough to make a thankful list.  I've been getting HUGE baskets of lemons from life lately ... however ... in the back of my mind I know there are always things to be thankful for no matter what is happening.

and coincidentally, I read this today - "What if you received today all the things you thanked God for yesterday?"
hmmm, what DID I thank God for yesterday?  not nearly enough I'm sure.  sorry God.

  1. I am thankful for my {mostly} unbiased in-laws.
  2. Thank you God that our needs are met - food, water, clothes, a bed, etc.
  3. Doors are randomly opening.  I feel like they NEED to, but it definitely has not been in my timing.  God seems to know when they need to.  nothing like the last minute sometimes, eh?
  4. My healthy family.
  5. A car that runs.  that was handed over to me without any payment.  that I don't have to pay insurance for (yet).  that gets good gas mileage.  and has a CD player & moon roof to boot.
  6. I have not had to cook dinner in over a month.
  7. A friend is watching my kids, and not some daycare ... no offense daycares.  This not just any friend, she someone who already has a few kids of her own + pets + she just moved and lives among boxes everywhere + not charging me = a real blessing for me.
  8. Freebies on craigslist!
  9. Supportive friends.
  10. Not sure what this day holds, but I'm going to thank you for it anyway!!
I have NEVER had to impose on so many people at the same time.  its awkward yet humbling.  It amazes me who/what/where/when/why God has the timing down to the most minute detail, interweaving lives to come together and help each other.

To me, there is no luck, no irony.  God is just THAT GOOD.
What are you thankful for today?  Join us HERE.

Blog #3?!

Yes, I'm going to do ANOTHER blog.  3 blogs.  am I crazy?  I have a hard enough time with just this one, but here are my thoughts on this ...

  • its the new me.  I can will do it.
  • I can refer my Avon clients to my Avon blog.  This should will get me more online business.
  • I can refer my Home Staging/Redesign clients to my Design blog.  This also should will get me more business.
In my opinion, word of mouth is still the best advertisement out there, but I have to say, online availability is a very close second.  Blogs, Twitter, Facebook, on and on ... dare I say, "everybody's doing it!"
Understandably not everyone wants to read my personal ramblings, but if you do, wonderful.  I have some doosies for you coming up, but please join my other blogs so you can see what else I'm about.

In order of their "birth" ...
blog #1 My Learning Curve - where you are, in my day to day
blog #2 Your Avon Lady - Anything and Everything to do with Avon ... 5 posts already people!
blog #3 Renew the View - the beginning to my Home Staging/Redesign business ... just birthed this evening, but will begin asap!

Be excited, because I am excited.  whoo hoo!