yesterday while grocery shopping, Sam asked to get his haircut. I was about to take him because he REALLY needed one but Matthew said "no I'll just do it at home." I was reluctant because he's tried before, twice, and both times Sam's head ended up bald. Sam (and most kids) in my opinion do not look good bald. he's only 5, still in the cute kid stage. I know one day he'll be a gross kid who wants to do everything to the extreme, but he's just not there yet.
let me back up a bit, a couple weeks ago, Sam took the clippers and started to cut his own hair. he got a good chunk up in front, but with a clever comb-over you couldn't tell. seriously, a comb-over worked! so not only did his hair need fixing, it was long everywhere else, so it was totally time for a cut. all the more reason to pay someone else to do it, right?
So after Matthew has cut out "the bowl" with scissors and trimmers, it's time to fade it with the clippers that have the different guards for various lengths. I am not a fan of "the bowl cut." and of course, the clippers aren't working right. we plug them in to charge, and they're still not working right. ugh. so guess what ... Sam is bald. no, I'm not too happy about it.
as Sam runs upstairs away from Matthew, crying, I come up after him to talk with him and calm him down.
me: you want the good news? or the bad news?
Sam: good news
me: it's just hair and it will grow back. more good news, next time you need a hair cut, I will take you in to have it done. promise.
Sam: bad news?
me: you have a bald head, and it's winter, and you'll probably be cold.
to that he laughs and calms down a bit. he makes up with daddy, although he wouldn't let him rub his newly bald head. :) but it got me thinking about my own hair.
awhile back, I posted about my hair (read it here) and long story short, I am growing it out to donated to a charity that makes wigs for cancer patients. I think about my goal daily because I'm currently in the hair phase of deal with it's ugliness or chop it off. luckily I can put it in a ponytail now, so I just pull it back out of my face and try to ignore it the best I can.
after talking with Sam, I realize it's the same case for me -
1. it's just hair
2. it will grow back
so does this mean I should go bald when the time comes to donate? I certainly don't want to be bald, just like Sam didn't want to be bald. he ran upstairs and cried, and that's probably what I would/will do too.
and then I think about why I'm doing this anyway; I'm doing it for people who don't or can't grow hair, for people who actually need it & want it, for people with cancer who do enough fighting with having the disease, along with all those medications they have to take daily, for the aches & pains they feel, and of course the chemo process that makes them bald in the first place. can you imagine all that?! when I get to thinking about that, I care even less about my hair and what it looks like. maybe I should go totally bald so I can empathize even more.
I don't know if it's possible, but I would love it if I could meet the actual person who will be wearing my hair. like I said before, I don't know anyone first hand that has had to go through this. God has just put it on my heart, big time, to be proactive with the little things that I can do. after all, it's just hair. it will grow back.
who knows? maybe God is getting me ready for my own cancer battle. maybe someone close to me will get cancer and I will be their support. or maybe none of that, and I can be some kind of spokesperson or charity/events organizer for cancer patients. who knows? God knows.