trust fall

did you have to do trust falls in gym class? I remember doing them. I also remember being so nervous about them, not fully trusting who was going to catch me.

Sam and I were waiting for Papa to do something, and I suddenly thought to show this to Sam. he didn't get it.
so Papa comes out and suggests we show him. for some reason, I didn't think I had to endure that nervousness and anxiety that I did in junior high. I obviously can't catch him (he's 300 lbs), so I guess it was up to me to show Sam how it's done.
it's one thing to eat the vegetables you don't like in front of your kids to show them - yes, it can be done. this trust fall is another thing.

so arms out, turn and check he's there and ready to catch me. yep, he's there. I'm ready, no, wait, check again. I'm ready, no, wait, will Elliott get in the way? no, he's safe and watching too. I'm ready, no wait, check again. finally, just do it already!
he did catch me, but I admit, I did take a small step back in that last mili-second. so I went through the process again. glad to say I wasn't so chicken the second time around.

realizing there is fear in me, bringing it out in the open, and just going through that process takes effort. as much as I didn't want to confront it, I also knew I had to. especially because Sam was there and watching. not just watching, but watching to see how it's done so he can have a turn.

in the end, Sam got to see and was able to do it too. he went through his own process, but it was much shorter than mine ... and too, he doesn't care if his brother gets in the way. sometimes that no fear thing kids have seems so wrong, but actually, that's the way God wants us to be all the time.

what's the worst that can happen? I will fall on the floor. I will be sore, but I will live.
another situation - flying in a plane, what's the worst that can happen? we will crash and die. I'm headed to heaven to see my Creator, so is that really so bad? nope, it shouldn't be.

find someone to do a trust fall with. see if you can do it too. you will. :)

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