I am to have faith in His plan for me, because there is a plan, a destiny, a purpose for ME.
much easier said than done.
as I listen to other people telling me their stories, their problems, or just about everyday life, I listen for patterns. I strongly believe that any ongoing pattern is God trying to break into your life and teach you something, saved or not. one cannot make the same mistakes while expecting different results, that just doesn't happen.
so I've noticed a pattern in myself. I seem to get on an emotional roller coaster; it's not a fast one, but it's finally making me nauseous enough for me to say "I want to get off this thing!"
we've moved around so much since we've been married, that I can't seem to connect with other women & moms. I'm not so much a people person, so for me to build a relationship takes a lot of time ... I don't necessarily think that's wrong or bad, it just is what it is. why all this coming and going? God what are you trying to uproot here?
since we've moved to where we're at now, I've tried to make connections, and it honestly seems like no one has the time, energy, or desire to have more friends than they already do. understandably, moms with kids are busy.
I am constantly feeling like the new kid in class; it's uncomfortable, sometimes embarassing, and it's a lonely place.
most of the time I don't mind giving my time and energy to things, that is definitely in my nature. I guess this would be the fun parts of my roller coaster. but then there are times when I could use a friend and I just don't have one. this would be the not-so-fun times.
is it my approach to people? are my expectations too high?
I always think of what Jesus said "treat others as you want to be treated."
it was almost a year ago that I moved and everything was new - new house, new surroundings, new moms club, new baby, new roommates, new everything ... it still feels that way and I hate it.
so now we're talking about moving again. not because of what I'm venting about; for hubby's work and to get our finances finally in order. this place is not our home; it doesn't feel like home, we're no longer called to be here, our purpose for living here has been filled (I believe anyway). but just the thought of starting over makes me nauseous again.
this is just what has been on my heart these days.
I gave this little blog the title I did because that's another patten I see, the answer is always so simple. God has a habit of doing that. if you know what I'm talking about, you know it's frustrating, but in a good way.
if you have advice for me, I'll take it.