today's word

my life is difficult lately.  definitely being tested.  it's a bittersweet season.

Sam's school is literally on the clear other side of town, the side of town I'd love to move to.  it takes a good 1/2 hour to get there from where we are now.
as I was driving home I start daydreaming about living in that neighborhood, thinking of all the positives to moving ... what if this, and what if that.  going over the argument that hasn't even happened yet with Matthew, working it all up in my head - yea that's bad, I know.
I've always said that I want to move somewhere, anywhere, and just stay there.  we've moved so much, and I REALLY HATE IT!!!  it's something I don't want my kids to have to get used to.  all the unstability is truly maddening!

so I ask myself "why do you want to move and stay somewhere SO badly?"  getting settled will give me the ability to connect, grow, and get involved with the community; the stuff I like to do. like all the farming parables in the bible, I want to get planted, grow strong roots, and blossom.

and then I thought, where are your roots?  in whatever house you want to live in?
then God says to me, where are your roots suppose to be?  of course, I cried.

and that's been Matthew's argument all along.  it shouldn't matter where you live, or how many times you move.  where is your focus?

I was given a kingdom perspective today.  wow.

I still HATE the idea of moving, but now my spirit knows better.  I also know that where ever my roots are, chances are my kids will follow ... no matter how many times we move.

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